Penis Slice...Ow!

Rapper Andre Johnson Attempts Suicide and Slices Off Penis...BUT Survived. Check Out What Wu-Tang Clan Has To Say About The Miz News...

Welp, this is def miz. Rapper, previously (but, more supposedly) linked to the Wu-Tang Clan group, reportedly attempted suicide by severing his penis (yikes), and jumping off the 2nd story of a LA apartment building on early Weds. Though it may have seemed like Johnson was a for sure goner, the 40-year-old rapper survived and was immediately rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital where he is obviously suffering from severe/critical injuries, but is in fact - alive.

Just a day or so, after the terrible news, there was some, um, social media black last. Though the W-T Clan has broken their silence saying that there were no links or ties to Johnson on their site, apparently this article of some sort was posted, but then deleted from the Wu-Tang Clan's social pages:

"Parental Advisory: Don't Believe the HYPE. This Mother F--ker Ain't Got S--t to do with The WUTANG Brand" - quote via E! Online

photo via E! Online

Ummm. Awk. Well, while we are still kinda unsure on where the W-T Clan stands on the matter, they did later release a statement saying that the did indeed "feel for his (Johnson's) family."


For More News On Johnson CLICK HERE

Festive Coachella News

"YO Coachella...Imma Let You Finish, But Made In America Is Coming to LA!!" Jay Z Drops a Bomb On The West Coast Festival...also Katy Perry and Diplo Hook UP?? OOOH Coachella...

SAY WHAAT? I AM KING. 

Allow me to introduce myself my name is - KING OF THE UNIVERSE AND MUSIC INDUSTRY, but I am also just known as Jay. (For short). That's right. Like, can Jay stop killing it in the headlines if he wanted too??! The answer is NO. No, he couldn't. After rocking out on the Coachella stage this past weekend with his girl, Bey, Jay decided to bring some more good cheer to the Coachella crowd. Jay announced that is now critically acclaimed, not to mention epic musical festival, Made In America, which originated in Philly in 2012, will now happen in the city of angels. Talk about swag city. It's like now the West Coast only has to wait a few more months before rocking out to yet another great festival. Likeee, should I move??

I'll be in Philly, but LA is pretty cool too...

Made in America (MIA), has been such a success. The first year, the festival featured headliners such as Pearl Jam, and last year, the headliners were Nine Inch Nails and the lovely, lady, Bey. This year??! Who knows?! The line up has yet to be released, but I'm thinking the third time's the charm and its gonna be unreal. It's also going to be pretty awesome that Jay wants the LA festival and the Philly festival to happen at the SAME TIME. GASP. Sooo like, we're all thinking - how?! Idk. But, that's also going to be another epic thing whenever it is announced. 

Not to mention, while at the 2012 festival, Jay was the intelligent mogul that he is had the whole thing filmed, from back stage access, to performer interviews, to crazy crowd shots, and the whole birth/ building process of what went into to making the two day festival. All of this footage was made in a documentary of course titled, Made in America, released 2013. The documentary was made for TV, but became so wildly successful, that the MIA movie will be released for the big screen some time in June. (Can we say perfect marketing...AND the Jay and Bey tour?!) I can't. Congrats to all Jay Z continues to do and create. We love it. Keep it cominn. 

 "I love that the festival will be in the middle of the city. Not too far away. No disrespect to any other festival." - Jay Z. Quote via E! Online. 

HA. Is that a Coachella burn? #HOVA

I mean, suuuuure. 

Katy Perry and Diplo?! OH...

Ohhh, all da looove Coachella sparks

So, on a side/more awkward note...apparently the newly single, Katy Perry and le dj/music producer, Diplo have um, hooked up. Welp, that's fun. LOLzz. I mean, I honestly don't really care, but word on the street is the couple, who have been friends for awhile, were getting close and cozy at le coachella festival this weekend.

Alright, so how is this information coming together?? Well, besides the fact that the two have been friends for awhile, which I mean, is the saying for EVERYONE and everyone's relationship in Hollywood, the two were spotted together at the Jeremy Scott party in LA on April 12th, according to Hollywoodlife.com. And at the festival, the two were apparently hanging out...emphasis on "hanging out," behind the main stage at Katy's trailer with her crew of friends/entourage. Obv. 

We all know Katy just ended her off and on relationship with John Mayer, and Diplo was previously in a five yea relationship with singer, M.I.A...not to be confused with the festival. Lol, oops. I didn't know that...that M.I.A and Diplo were a thing. I feel like M.I.A has been M.I.A for a bit...HA. Okay, I'm done with the MIA jokes. #overit. 

Well, if this is a real relationship...will it last? Hmmm debatable. BUT ya never know. I wanna make a joke about Katy being a "Dark Horse"and Diplo should watch out, but I wont...

For the FULL Article CLICK HERE

Queen BEY and JAY

Everybody - STOP What You're Doing THIS INSTANT...I  mean I know I did...Queen BEY and JAY Are Touring Togethaa ALL Summer!! Eeeek!! I CANT...

 

I can't...

 

 

HOLY F#@Kinggg S@!TTTT I CANT. Can you?! NO. You can't. You liiiterally can't deal because I literally can't deal. I'm freaking ouuut. BUGGING OUT really. Like, I am so excited. This is going to be better than Beyonce performing at Made In America (even though that was also SO amazing, like I'm pretty sure I cried...). ANYWAYS - the deets: The Queen and King of Hip Hop are planning on going on a 20 - stadium tour across the US this summer possibly beginning sometime in late June.

LIIIIITTT  !! Are tickets on sale like now?!

Though we know that the unstoppable billion dollar $$$ (ching, ching) couple, have made a few songs togethhaa (we are all currently dyinnng over Drunk In Love...like still...) this would be the couples first official tour together. Like, officially together.

Can I just say, I'm SUPER jealous of Blue Ivy, like even more now. It's like, oh what do your parents do? UMM run the worrrrldd and go on tour together and KILL IT. What do your parents do?! OH, your dad is an accountant? HA. MIZ. See ya. Blue Ivy wins. And she's gonna keep winning. Sorry, North West, but until Kim gets a talent...Blue is le baby on da block. 

gif via Pop Sugar.   

SUPP DOE 

The couple recently just killed it at Coachella and now, they're ready to do it again. It's like wheeeen do they stop?! #MeAndMyGirlfriend #CrazyInLove #DrunkInLove #DejaVu...EVERYTHING.


If you're NOT drunk in love with Bey and Jay right now...then you have issues. Count down til JUNE letzz go!




I mean, I'm drunk in love, crazy in love...all of the above...

Barbie and Ken...Hate Each Other?! Don't Tell The Kidzz

Barbie and Ken...Hate Each Other?! UGH Miz. Don't Tell Da Kidzzz....

Okay, be honest, how long can you look at these pics of these plastically (is that a wordd??) enhanced Barbie and Ken...people? Can I even call them people?!! Anyways, I think we can all agree that they are kinda scary looking. Like when the Barbie person isn't moving her mouth, she looks like a straight up doll...but, I guess that was the intention. #Yikes. 

!!!!!!!! Before Pics....

Valeria Lukyanova  has taken it upon herself to look EXACTLY like Barbie. She opens up to GQ mag, about her surgery and her beliefs...I know, I know. It's freaking crazy. First of all, she claims she's only had like one surgery. Like OH PLEASE. Like, why would you lie?? Heidi Montag admitted to having 10 plastic surgeries and SHE didn't EVEN look like Barbie...but, she sure did look plastic doe. And Valeria basically changed everything about herself, but OH, since you can't surgically change your eye color, naturally she covers her green eyes with HUGE wide-eyed, blue contacts. Creep city.

LITTTT?!

So, what's up with this Barbie chick? Well, for one thing she doesn't believe in settling down with a family and kids. Actually, she doesn't believe in the idea of kids because she doesn't believe in the idea of ruining her body. OH OBV. She also told the magazine that mix raced kids were ruining the world. So, now she's just hating on everyone. She's essentially a Barbie Nazi. But like what about all the other barbies that AREN'T blonde?! #rude. 

"It's unacceptable to me," she explained. "The very idea of children brings out this deep revulsion in me…I'd rather die from torture because the worst thing in the world is to have a family lifestyle." -- Valeria on having a family.

quote via E! News 

Apparently though, we're not the only ones hatinnn on Barbie. OH NO. Her supposed boyfriend, Ken, is hating on her pretty hard. Justin Jedlica has had a reported 140 surgeries (like HOW are you alive?!) to look like his body idol, the Ken doll. Ugh, gross. But even though he is just as much to blame for looking crazy as Valeria, Justin thinks Valeria is crazy and that she is really nothing special. Like, oh okay, you tell em Justin...I  mean Ken? Whatever. It's confusing. 

Best fraandz. 

Valeria presents herself as a real-life Barbie doll, but she is nothing more than an illusion who dresses like a drag queen," he reportedly said. "Unlike me, who has spent nearly $150,000 permanently transforming myself into a human Ken doll, Valeria just plays dress up. But as soon as you wipe away all that makeup, she's just a plain Jane and there's absolutely nothing special about her."  -- Justin on Valeria. 

quote via E! News

Well there you have it. A full on "Toys R Us" feud. Maybe the Toy Story guys over at pixar will use Valeria and Justin as a story line for the Barbie and Ken in the movie? Too much? No. Too much is...are these crazy people and their surgeries. 

I mean, Barbie looks 10 times better than Valeria...

Classic Nick Cannon....

Nick Cannon Pulls A Lindsay Lohan and Releases HIS Sex List to the Public...(w/ Kimmy K and Christian Millian), And It Sounds Likee Mariah Isn't to WILD About This One...

Remember when Kim was tacky ass F$@#?!

Nick Cannon. Oh, remember the good ole days of Nickelodeon Nick Cannon, and the Wild n' Out Nick Cannon, and the Drumline Nick Cannon? Those were legit Nick Cannon dayz. Now, married to the legend that IS Mariah Carey and hosting the show: America's Got Talent...I think it's safe to say that his ego has gone threw the roof and the kid feels like he can do whatever he wants. 

For example: 

1. Dying his hair cheetah print?!! WHO DOES THAT?

2. Transforming into his alter -ego (Connor Smalls)  for his new album "White People Music"

AND...

3. Casually telling the press about all the people he's supposedly slept with in Hollywood. Again, who does that? ESPECIALLY...when you're married...to Mariah. 

In an interview sess last week with LA's radio station Power 106, Cannon was asked if he had slept with many Hollywood peeps and the actor/TV personality said that he had indeed (I mean, i added the "indeed"), slept with and I quote "a lot" of people. He then went on to say: "This is LA!" Then further continued to say that in the city of angels you're supposed to sleep with models and actresses, HA. Okay, so that makes it like more legit then. 

Among some of the girls he named were of course, Kim Kardashian (who HASN'T she slept with??? Slash/ wonder how Kanye took that...), Christina Millian, andddd remember the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls???! DO you even REMEMBER Pussycat Dolls? LOL, well he slept with her, Nicole Scherzinger. 

I think...he has...a type...

Now while that's all well and good because we were all just dying to know who NC has been sleeping with over the years, obv, let's just say this didn't really run well with Mariah. Apparently the Diva of all music Divas (except Queen Bey obv), was kinda pissed about this. I mean, yeah like he's NOT LL...he's married and it just looks tacky. So naturally, to make it up to Mariah, he bough her a 30,000 dollar piece of jewelry or a 30,000 peace offering as I like to call it. Shoot, if everyone apologized to me with 30,000 dollar jewelry I'd forgive and forget reeealll fast. You would too, don't lie. Even though critics and peeps have pointed out that Mariah is clearly the one with the money in the relationship and likeee he def spent HER money on her "I'm sorry" present. LOL. Miz. 

A diamond encrusted butterfly bracelet obv. Mimi loves da fly.

Mariah and Nick have been married for 6 years, which is like a long ass time for Hollywood, so if this doesn't break them up, then I'm sure it'll be quite fine...but if not, then Mimi will hunt him down...#emancipation #touchmybody  ;) 

Wanna See Linday's List Again? CLICK HERE

Vogue Cover Big Day

The Infamous Vogue Cover Hits Stands Today #Miz...And Kanye and Kim Have A Plan To Make Sure This Issue Doesn't Fail...

TRUTH DOE. 

Welp, today is the last day in March and tomorrow is April Fool's day! Score. Thanks to Vogue, we gotta ring in the spring season with Kimye on the cover of the fashion bible, ugh. But, some clever people, much clever than myself, realized that maaaaaybe Anna Wintour gave the couple the April cover as an April Fool's joke...LOL. Pretty solid joke. When you think about that way, then Anna's a genius and it's hilarious. I like to think of it that way even if it's not true...but makes sense to me. 

Ohhhh yaa?

So the BIG question with this issue, beside how did the couple even get on the cover in the first place, is how WELL is this cover going to do? Will this make or break Vogue? Will audiences give in, or split from the mag? Well, I can see it going both ways, but at the same time even if you HATE the cover...people will get it just to see the pictures and read the article (which we have already established before is written like a bad metaphorical high school essay...) Or some people will buy the issue to to umm, burn it. Yes, that was one of my favorite tweets about the mag. I mean, that would be a substantial fire...Vogue is pretty thick. 

Of course, Kanye being Kanye, always wants to succeed in everything that he does whether it is outlandish or not. So, reports have said that Kanye WILL NOT let this issue fail. How is he planning on doing this? Well, he and Kim are reportedly buying a shizz ton of magazines for themselves, OBV, but Kanye and Kim are urging their 30 million people twitter fan base and making sure that all those people purchase the mag. I mean, sure, that'll def work, but it sounds to me that the two are acting a little desperate. Like, most celebs don't neeeed to make sure and remind people to buy the mag, they just do. So, whether the mag cover ends up selling or not, I think it's safe to say that Kimye is 100% worried about the mag not doing well and they're are scramming to make sure that their "dream come true" doesn't become a nightmare. 

To View More HILAR Tweets AND My Opinion About the Vogue Cover CLICK HERE

Is Miley's Singing Vagina Academic?

Is Miley's "Singing Vagina" Academic? YUP. That's A Real Question. Would You Take This Miley Inspired Sociology Class...?

Miley's new educated look?

According to a recent E! News article based around "Miley's singing vagina," yep, that's also real, it was said that Skidmore College has created a brand new sociology course centered around the ever so infamous, Miley Cyrus. True or False? UMM, TRUE. The course will in fact be called that of "The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media," and will be taught by a visiting assistant professor by the name of Carolyn Chernoff. Hmm, who this Carolyn Chernoff? Very interesting, indeed.


Well, I think this prof is like kinda smart because Miley is all over the headlines lately whether she is spitting water on audience members, dancing on a giant hot dog (lol), kissing Katy Perry, or deciding that lip tats of cats are the new thing...she can't stop, and won't stop. The girl is killing it. She's everywhere. And honestly, I don't even hate it anymore.


Sociology can be like really boring, or super interesting, if you make cool courses like this. And by "cool," I mean, relevant to today's media. I'd probably take any course with a celebrity in the title. Someone needs to create a class on the wealth building and dynamic master minds of what is Beyonce and Jay Z's basically billion dollar empire. Like, I'd take that course in a minute. $ign me up. Also, if they want to talk a little about the social phenomenon that IS #surfboard, then I'm also cool with that too.


So, do I think this is a good way to engage students and get more people to sign up for Sociology? Sure. Do I think that Miley needs anymore praise for being a redic person when there are much more important people in the world not riding hot dogs and letting their vagina "sing" at concerts and doing actual legit things in life? Umm, NO.



I mean, sure. I'm really not even as phased as I should be...

For The Full Article On Miley's "Singing Vagina...HA...Click Here