Barbie and Ken...Hate Each Other?! Don't Tell The Kidzz

Barbie and Ken...Hate Each Other?! UGH Miz. Don't Tell Da Kidzzz....

Okay, be honest, how long can you look at these pics of these plastically (is that a wordd??) enhanced Barbie and Ken...people? Can I even call them people?!! Anyways, I think we can all agree that they are kinda scary looking. Like when the Barbie person isn't moving her mouth, she looks like a straight up doll...but, I guess that was the intention. #Yikes. 

!!!!!!!! Before Pics....

Valeria Lukyanova  has taken it upon herself to look EXACTLY like Barbie. She opens up to GQ mag, about her surgery and her beliefs...I know, I know. It's freaking crazy. First of all, she claims she's only had like one surgery. Like OH PLEASE. Like, why would you lie?? Heidi Montag admitted to having 10 plastic surgeries and SHE didn't EVEN look like Barbie...but, she sure did look plastic doe. And Valeria basically changed everything about herself, but OH, since you can't surgically change your eye color, naturally she covers her green eyes with HUGE wide-eyed, blue contacts. Creep city.

LITTTT?!

So, what's up with this Barbie chick? Well, for one thing she doesn't believe in settling down with a family and kids. Actually, she doesn't believe in the idea of kids because she doesn't believe in the idea of ruining her body. OH OBV. She also told the magazine that mix raced kids were ruining the world. So, now she's just hating on everyone. She's essentially a Barbie Nazi. But like what about all the other barbies that AREN'T blonde?! #rude. 

"It's unacceptable to me," she explained. "The very idea of children brings out this deep revulsion in me…I'd rather die from torture because the worst thing in the world is to have a family lifestyle." -- Valeria on having a family.

quote via E! News 

Apparently though, we're not the only ones hatinnn on Barbie. OH NO. Her supposed boyfriend, Ken, is hating on her pretty hard. Justin Jedlica has had a reported 140 surgeries (like HOW are you alive?!) to look like his body idol, the Ken doll. Ugh, gross. But even though he is just as much to blame for looking crazy as Valeria, Justin thinks Valeria is crazy and that she is really nothing special. Like, oh okay, you tell em Justin...I  mean Ken? Whatever. It's confusing. 

Best fraandz. 

Valeria presents herself as a real-life Barbie doll, but she is nothing more than an illusion who dresses like a drag queen," he reportedly said. "Unlike me, who has spent nearly $150,000 permanently transforming myself into a human Ken doll, Valeria just plays dress up. But as soon as you wipe away all that makeup, she's just a plain Jane and there's absolutely nothing special about her."  -- Justin on Valeria. 

quote via E! News

Well there you have it. A full on "Toys R Us" feud. Maybe the Toy Story guys over at pixar will use Valeria and Justin as a story line for the Barbie and Ken in the movie? Too much? No. Too much is...are these crazy people and their surgeries. 

I mean, Barbie looks 10 times better than Valeria...

Classic Nick Cannon....

Nick Cannon Pulls A Lindsay Lohan and Releases HIS Sex List to the Public...(w/ Kimmy K and Christian Millian), And It Sounds Likee Mariah Isn't to WILD About This One...

Remember when Kim was tacky ass F$@#?!

Nick Cannon. Oh, remember the good ole days of Nickelodeon Nick Cannon, and the Wild n' Out Nick Cannon, and the Drumline Nick Cannon? Those were legit Nick Cannon dayz. Now, married to the legend that IS Mariah Carey and hosting the show: America's Got Talent...I think it's safe to say that his ego has gone threw the roof and the kid feels like he can do whatever he wants. 

For example: 

1. Dying his hair cheetah print?!! WHO DOES THAT?

2. Transforming into his alter -ego (Connor Smalls)  for his new album "White People Music"

AND...

3. Casually telling the press about all the people he's supposedly slept with in Hollywood. Again, who does that? ESPECIALLY...when you're married...to Mariah. 

In an interview sess last week with LA's radio station Power 106, Cannon was asked if he had slept with many Hollywood peeps and the actor/TV personality said that he had indeed (I mean, i added the "indeed"), slept with and I quote "a lot" of people. He then went on to say: "This is LA!" Then further continued to say that in the city of angels you're supposed to sleep with models and actresses, HA. Okay, so that makes it like more legit then. 

Among some of the girls he named were of course, Kim Kardashian (who HASN'T she slept with??? Slash/ wonder how Kanye took that...), Christina Millian, andddd remember the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls???! DO you even REMEMBER Pussycat Dolls? LOL, well he slept with her, Nicole Scherzinger. 

I think...he has...a type...

Now while that's all well and good because we were all just dying to know who NC has been sleeping with over the years, obv, let's just say this didn't really run well with Mariah. Apparently the Diva of all music Divas (except Queen Bey obv), was kinda pissed about this. I mean, yeah like he's NOT LL...he's married and it just looks tacky. So naturally, to make it up to Mariah, he bough her a 30,000 dollar piece of jewelry or a 30,000 peace offering as I like to call it. Shoot, if everyone apologized to me with 30,000 dollar jewelry I'd forgive and forget reeealll fast. You would too, don't lie. Even though critics and peeps have pointed out that Mariah is clearly the one with the money in the relationship and likeee he def spent HER money on her "I'm sorry" present. LOL. Miz. 

A diamond encrusted butterfly bracelet obv. Mimi loves da fly.

Mariah and Nick have been married for 6 years, which is like a long ass time for Hollywood, so if this doesn't break them up, then I'm sure it'll be quite fine...but if not, then Mimi will hunt him down...#emancipation #touchmybody  ;) 

Wanna See Linday's List Again? CLICK HERE

Vogue Cover Big Day

The Infamous Vogue Cover Hits Stands Today #Miz...And Kanye and Kim Have A Plan To Make Sure This Issue Doesn't Fail...

TRUTH DOE. 

Welp, today is the last day in March and tomorrow is April Fool's day! Score. Thanks to Vogue, we gotta ring in the spring season with Kimye on the cover of the fashion bible, ugh. But, some clever people, much clever than myself, realized that maaaaaybe Anna Wintour gave the couple the April cover as an April Fool's joke...LOL. Pretty solid joke. When you think about that way, then Anna's a genius and it's hilarious. I like to think of it that way even if it's not true...but makes sense to me. 

Ohhhh yaa?

So the BIG question with this issue, beside how did the couple even get on the cover in the first place, is how WELL is this cover going to do? Will this make or break Vogue? Will audiences give in, or split from the mag? Well, I can see it going both ways, but at the same time even if you HATE the cover...people will get it just to see the pictures and read the article (which we have already established before is written like a bad metaphorical high school essay...) Or some people will buy the issue to to umm, burn it. Yes, that was one of my favorite tweets about the mag. I mean, that would be a substantial fire...Vogue is pretty thick. 

Of course, Kanye being Kanye, always wants to succeed in everything that he does whether it is outlandish or not. So, reports have said that Kanye WILL NOT let this issue fail. How is he planning on doing this? Well, he and Kim are reportedly buying a shizz ton of magazines for themselves, OBV, but Kanye and Kim are urging their 30 million people twitter fan base and making sure that all those people purchase the mag. I mean, sure, that'll def work, but it sounds to me that the two are acting a little desperate. Like, most celebs don't neeeed to make sure and remind people to buy the mag, they just do. So, whether the mag cover ends up selling or not, I think it's safe to say that Kimye is 100% worried about the mag not doing well and they're are scramming to make sure that their "dream come true" doesn't become a nightmare. 

To View More HILAR Tweets AND My Opinion About the Vogue Cover CLICK HERE

Is Miley's Singing Vagina Academic?

Is Miley's "Singing Vagina" Academic? YUP. That's A Real Question. Would You Take This Miley Inspired Sociology Class...?

Miley's new educated look?

According to a recent E! News article based around "Miley's singing vagina," yep, that's also real, it was said that Skidmore College has created a brand new sociology course centered around the ever so infamous, Miley Cyrus. True or False? UMM, TRUE. The course will in fact be called that of "The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media," and will be taught by a visiting assistant professor by the name of Carolyn Chernoff. Hmm, who this Carolyn Chernoff? Very interesting, indeed.


Well, I think this prof is like kinda smart because Miley is all over the headlines lately whether she is spitting water on audience members, dancing on a giant hot dog (lol), kissing Katy Perry, or deciding that lip tats of cats are the new thing...she can't stop, and won't stop. The girl is killing it. She's everywhere. And honestly, I don't even hate it anymore.


Sociology can be like really boring, or super interesting, if you make cool courses like this. And by "cool," I mean, relevant to today's media. I'd probably take any course with a celebrity in the title. Someone needs to create a class on the wealth building and dynamic master minds of what is Beyonce and Jay Z's basically billion dollar empire. Like, I'd take that course in a minute. $ign me up. Also, if they want to talk a little about the social phenomenon that IS #surfboard, then I'm also cool with that too.


So, do I think this is a good way to engage students and get more people to sign up for Sociology? Sure. Do I think that Miley needs anymore praise for being a redic person when there are much more important people in the world not riding hot dogs and letting their vagina "sing" at concerts and doing actual legit things in life? Umm, NO.



I mean, sure. I'm really not even as phased as I should be...

For The Full Article On Miley's "Singing Vagina...HA...Click Here

The End of an Era.

TIME Magazine Covers "The Final Days of Mad Men" And It's Brilliant. Season 7 "Takes Off" April 13th. 

"It's all up in the air" - the solgan in the trailer for thehighly anticipated season 7 premiere of Mad Men. Oh. Man. I CANNOT WAIT. Count down til April 13th, until then I am so antsy. Mad Men, is hands down one of the best shows ever created; from the story line, to the most intriguing character developments, to the amazing historical configurations with the show's plots, the writing, the acting, the costume and make up, the set design - everything. 

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that Mad Men has been my all time favorite show from the day that I saw the huge bill board for the first season in the summer of 2007 in New York City. Ah, I knew right then and there this show was going to be epic. 

Last Year Mad Men was ranked #7 by the Writer's Guild of America in the 101 Best Written TV Series of All Time. (Number 1 was of course, The Sopranos, obv). 

The epicly chic Rolling Stones Mad Men Cover. One of my faves. 

Time Magazine has released an awesome story, with videos, photos, and historical content based around the launch and everyone's anticipation of the show's final season. They also give tribute to the show, while praising it for its 7 year AMC reign saying that the final season of the show will 100% be "the end of a era."

AMC has given birth to some of the most amazing television shows of the decade, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and its like, now that Mad Men is ending and Breaking Bad JUST ended, I don't know what I am going to do. Honestly, Breaking Bad was hard enough even though I think we can all agree that the show ended beautifully. 

As much as I don't want Mad Men to go, I can't wait to see what the final season brings. I've been stalking the cast videos and watching as many teaser videos as I can. The Count down to April 13th starts now. 

I mean, I honestly don't care if Don's gonna some internal shiz going on, I'd fly with him anywhere...

TIME Article Click Here

Check out the Mad Men Season 7 Cast Photos

ahhh. I can't.

Prenup citty and Bey and Jay Wedding crashers?

Kim and Kanye "We Want Prenup, We Want Prenup HEY!" and Why It's Gonna Take Some Convincing to Get Beyonce and Jay Z to Their Wedding....

photo via Daily Mail.   

Kim and Kanye Had Dinner With Anna Wintour in NYC Last Night To "Celebrate" THE Cover #vom

In the words of Kayne and Jamie Foxx's old, but still very prevalent song: "Gold digger," Kanye explains that a pre-nup "is something that you need to have because when she leaves your ass...she's gonna leave with half." YUP. So, true Kanye, so true. So, how do we avoid this "leaving with half"? Pre-nup cittaay. According to US Weekly's last most recent issue, Kim and Kanye have decided upon some sort of prenuptial agreement. 

Kim is reportedly expected to get 500,000 for each year that they are married and then a $10 million dollar grad total if they split. (HA, let's see how long they'll last. Anna better hope they stay together forever or else that Vogue cover was a loss... if it wasn't already). 

Well, that's a nice bit of chunk change for Kim isn't it? Sure. And let's be real, we'd all be satisfied/ happy to get like 500,000 thou a year just for being married...like where do I sign up?? But, in the reality of super celebrity million dollar stardom...when the Kardashian family reality show finally goes south (which, like it is slowly heading...) at the end of the day, Kim has NO real talent, just endorsements that make her money. Kanye is worth over 100 million dollars while Kim is worth about 40. Also, we all know Kim has a spending habit/problem unlike her other sisters, SO let's just say, over the course of the next few years...Kim should probably not spend all her money in one sitting. That would be the SMART thing to do. But, how smart is Kim? I don't know...smart enough to get married for 72 days? LOL remember that?! 

OH WAIT she ALREADY haaad a MILLION dollar wedding??!! That was fast. 

Apart from pre-nup problems, Kim keeps saying that they are having a SMALL wedding of 200 guests...WHAT?! A small wedding is like friends and family in your backyard dumb dumb. That's a BIG wedding, Kim. I guess she isn't that smart. Anyways, Kim and Kanye have of course invited a slur of A-list people (but, not as A-list as saaaay Chris Martin and Gwynethh obv), this list of people including the true Queen and King - Bey and Jay. Now, the couple that is worth a whopping 400 mil A PIECE aka like a BILLION dollars...(sorry Kimye you are peasants compared), they DO NOT want to be on camera at Kim and Kayne nuptials, so they may or may not attend. Good for them! Bey and Jay are not only worth hundreds and millions more than Kimye, they have class too. They don't need to be on their dumb reality show wedding. Sorry guyzzz. Honestly, why aren't THEY on the cover of Vogue Anna??

YO sorry doooee! Da ruul King and Queen UP in huuur..."Kanye Imma Let You Finish, But We May Not Attend Yo Wedding..."

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin NOOO!

"Conscious Uncoupling"  NOOOO! Gwyneth and Chris End Their 10 Year Marriage!!! UGH THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF MIZZZ

 

NOOOO! LIKE WHAT?!! UGH. Is anyone else devestated?! I'm devestated. I mean like, 10 years of marriage?! 10 YEARS. Okay, okay, ten years isn't reeeally a long time. I mean it IS, but like, come on. Your parents, my parents, normal parents are married for likeee 20 plus. BUT, 10 years in Hollywood is like 100 years and is pretty legit. Like now, all we have left is like Freddy Prince Jr. and Sarah Michelle Geller! And Will and Jada, aaaaand Rita and Tom (who, I mean I die for). OH and the best: Keira Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon. HOLLA back. They're fab.

Anyways, back to the main issue here. Ugh, this is so sad. It's sad because I thought they were like, so perfect for each other. Like, they were both soo skinzz, and regal looking, and blonde, and super chic, yet trendy, and had like weird lifestyles that alot of people weren't really about (aka Gwyneth not allowing her kids to play with plastic toys and the fact they are gluteen free...like that's a tad bizaree Gwyn), but that's WHY they were like SO perfect together. Like, whose gonna live in their little London flat?! (British accent obv). ALSO they were obv like SO successful together. Between two of them the couple had, one Oscar, one Emmy, and 7 Grammys. #success. (Even though I always forget what Gwyn won her Oscar for, but then I realized it was "Shakespeare In Love." What a greeat movie). 

You know who's probably like more upset than we are?! UM BEY AND JAY! Likee Bey, Jay, Chris, and Gwyn were SO great. Power couple city. SO much swag, it was hard to deal with. Like what now???? I mean Justin and Jessica B are trying to hang, but it's not the same. (Also, how long do we think those two are gonna stay together?! Like there's another singer/actress combo. Hmm...)



NOOOO.




NOOOOO. AHH!



 photo Via PerezHilton.com    I MEAN DUHH!


According to TMZ.com, Gwyn annouced the couples seperation on her website "GOOP." Well, that's interesting and released a statement saying:

"It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate."

MIZ.


Of course, she further explained that they will "always be a family" and love each other yada yada, but there was some shady shiz about the purchase of a house that the couple just bought. The two reportedly dropped like 14 mil on slick, new pad about a month ago. Rumor has it that the pad is a divorce pad for hubby Chris...that they bought, like, ahead of time. I meannn, a little weird, but would you complain??


 FULL TMZ.com Article HERE


 Well, I hope they can work something out for the kids, which I am sure they will because if we all know Gwyn, we know she doesn't want any kind of unhealthy life for her kids. (Even if it is filled with Goop...LoLzz, sorry I had too.)




Photo Via GOOP.  UGH but THIS photo IS PERFECT. This photo has officially made me more miz...don't stare at it for too long.