2018 Golden Globes Blackout: WORST Dressed

Worst Dressed a la Golden Globes (Red Carpet BLACKOUT)

They say everybody looks good in black. But at this year's Golden Globes awards, that just was NOT the case. While some stars SLAYED the all black dress code, others well, completely missed the mark. Which btw is so hard to do because IT'S BLACK. Ugh. 

Several A-list celebs showed up in some D-list dresses, so with out further ado...

Here are le worst dressed from Sunday night's Globes red carpet. 

NOT AWFUL NOT GREAT 

Caitriona Balfe in Chanel

Ugh, I LOVE this woman and I LOVE "Outlander," but I'm not so sure that I love this dress. Is it awful? Nope. But is it great? Nope. I mean it's Chanel, and like fancy couture goes - it's either hit or miss. And while I don't love this dress, I do think Caitriona is werking it at the same time. I mean she's so tall and like former model beautiful, like anything would look good on her. And I actually really do love the neckline, its just the cut of the dress I'm like ehh about. But her best accessory of the night was her new engagement ring. BOOM. Congrats girl! 

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Kate Hudson in Valentino

I'm ALL for the plunge neckline and drop diamond necklace trend. And I'm ALL for Kate's new hair do. I love her short hair cause her face is like so defined - it's amazing. Buuut, I don't love this dress. It's like gothic chic? I love the whole sheer trend too, but I really don't like the whole criss-cross pattern on the dress. It's too much. I think the shape of the dress is gorgeous and she looks good IN the dress, but the dress is like meh. Plus my eyes go directly to the hot pants underneath. It's just not a balanced look. 

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Gal Gadot in Tom Ford 

Ugh, well I mean we all know Wonder Woman is gorgeous. And as Wonder Woman, Gal can literally wear pretty much anything and still look amazing. But half the outfits she wore while on her "Wonder Woman" premiere tour were WAY better than this look. Now, I love the crisp, tuxedo jacket but it should be placed over a simple, straight black dress - NOT a ruched stretchy fabric looking dress with a weird uneven hem line? Like the side slit looks like a rip. No thank you. But does she still like great? I mean, duh.  

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WORST 

Heidi Klum in Ashi Studio 

UM. Okay. I think the best way to explain this dress is BLACK SWAN. Like, this literally looks like a feathered, high-low disaster costume from "Black Swan." It looks like someone just glued feathers all over her dress, cut the front out so she could walk, but then they put to many feathers at the top of the dress and and it's totally overwhelming her chest. AHHH! I hate it. It would 100% be worse if Heidi wasn't wearing it. But luckily, she's Heidi so...

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Elizabeth Moss in Dior 

Ugh, so this dress isn't exactly ugly. It's a classic, diamond collar, vintage Dior dress. Nothing wrong with it, but this dress is just not flattering on the "Handmaid's Tale" winner. It's too frumpy and makes her look bigger than she is and the 1950s hemline just makes it worse. Like, love you Liz but this isn't "Mad Men" and even if it was well, Betty and Megan Draper would looked waaay better in something that wasn't this.

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Kendall Jenner in Giambattista Valli

I hate Pepsi and Frye Festivals AND THIS DRESS. Now anyone who knows me WELL knows that I like anything poofy, princess-y - anything with a lot of tulle and chiffon I'M THERE. BUT I'm not into the high-low look when the dress is MASSIVE. Plus the short, poofy front makes her look pregnant which if I were here, I would stay clear of unless she wants to create more rumors about her family. LOL. PLUS this is NOT how you do Giambattista Valli.

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THIS IS HOW YOU G VALLI:

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You're not Rihanna Kendall, sorry.

ALSO you're NOT supposed to be at the Globes! And I'm SO over your lip injections UGH. So I'm sorry Kendall, but until Kylie announces her pregnancy and you admit that you got your lips done - BYE. 

Samira Wiley in Romana Keveza 

WAHH! Samira, I love you. I love you so much that when you died in "OITNB" I cried my HEART OUT! And I am so happy that you've found a new role and are killing it on the "Handmaid's Tale," buut I HATE this dress. Like, I debated putting it in the MIZ section, but it's not God awful, it's just awful. Like I'd rather her to have worn a black strapless dress than this awk illusion neckline with these floating gold triangles. I mean, I DON'T EVEN GET the design?! WHO wants floating triangles on their chest?! Like it's so confusing and ugly. Oy, maybe I do think it's God awful.  :( 

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Lily James in Valentino

Love Lily James and her cute British self, but this is one poofy dress that I don't love. I would have been happier if she had just worn her Cinderella costume to the red carpet if she was going to choose this ruffled mess. It literally looks like someone took a bunch big Christmas bows and glued them to her chest and to the bottom of the dress. Also the dress looks heavy AF and that's not the look anyone should go for. Sorry Lily, but your "Downton Abbey" style was ten times better than this.

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Allison Janney in Mario Dice

I really hate to say anything bad about Allison Janney because I really do love her so much and I was so happy she won the Globe for "I Tonya," but I gotta say, I hate this dress. But I only hate the top. I think the dress fits her to the tee and  her body looks amazing, but I HATE the black and white top. YUCK. From far away the shoulder part  looks like butterfly wings, which I hate, but also like a tiger slashed the dress and left holes in it? If the dress had been ALL black it may have been different, but the black and white together is so tacky. Here's hoping her Oscar dress is better. Cause I have full faith in her Oscar nomination...and that she may win. 

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LIT MIZ

Jamie Chung in Ermanno Scervino

Jamie Chung is such a little cutie, but this dress is not cute at ALL. It's literally so ugly. To be blunt lol. So let's walk through this - you've got a leather top, that is sinched with a tiny belt, and then has a messy, uneven, looks like bunched up tissue paper, skirt. It looks like she's been rolling around in the dress for hours in her bed and then got up and decided to go to the Globes and threw that belt around her waist to try and make it trendy. YUP. I said it. It's MIZ.

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Pamela Adlon

Is it a corset? Is it a jacket? Is a costume from "Moulin Rouge?" I don't know WHAT it is or what's going on here but NONE of it is working. I think Pamela is hilarious and she's super talented but there is NOTHING funny about this dress people. Or I'm sorry, suit? UGH SEE! I don't even know what to call it but like fugly and miz. 

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Gwendoline Christie 

Obviously Gwen is like a super tall girl and she can legit where anything, but THIS, this is hideous. This looks like a black chiffon dress that was shredded in the shredder a few times and then someone threw it in the trash and left it there and then she found it and decided the crazy layers of fabric was trendy, but really it's just like SO miz. It also looks like someone bought a bunch of black streamers from Party City and made one of those plastic streamer dresses like I made in 4th grade...and mine looked better. And was yellow. SO I win.

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Abbie Cornish 

Ugh, this is a perfect example of when good sequins happen to bad design. I'm never one to turn down a sequin dress, but this is legit MIZ. I literally have ZERO idea what is happening the with neckline. Like it's a key hole neckline, but then it has this pointy part of the choker that's like pointing down into the key hole? Like a compass?! It's just v confusing. And then the sleeves are also too much. Wah, it's just ugly. 

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Zuri Hall 

As one of the few remaining women on E! News, LOL, I gotta say I'm pretty disappointed with Zuri's delivery here. There's TOO much going on with this dress! It looks like THREE different dresses. First off it's sheer, but then the top has polka dots, but then the bottom looks like a 17th century petty coat and has a lot of ruffles and lace! UGH. It's like MAKE UP YOUR MIND. You can NOT have your cake and eat it too in this situation. And if you look closely and you cut off the bottom of the dress and made it knee length, then it actually looks like a dress from Hot Topic. And ya, it's not 2001 and Hot Topic is not the place I normally suggest for red carpet dresses...

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Blanca Blanco 

Blanca, Blanca, Blanca. Oh boy. So, if we’re being honest, everyone was looking for that ONE person who was going to show up to the awards show in – drum roll please – A COLOR.  So leave it to Latina actress, BB to show up in a RED velvet dress that literally leaves nothing to the imagination. Not only is this dress cut out and slashed everywhere, who cares if it’s blood red it’s just NOT appropriate for the Golden Gobles. Grammys? Maybe. Maxium’s Hot 100? Sure. Globes? Nope. PLUS most people just think she did this for attention anyways so that she could get more on da radar, so again if we’re being honest, I think that worked in her favor. She explained that she wore red cause read means "passionate" and shes passionate about the cause? IDK. She’s either reaaally smart or reaaally dumb. I can’t decide, but this dress is awful.

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Barbara Meier 

And then there was girl. I don't even know who she is - I mean I could look her up but that's too much effort LOL. She wore this embellished floral dress, which I am normally ALL about, but it looks like it was dipped in cotton candy tie dye and then she decided that wasn’t enough so she added tie dye magic carpet looking fabric and just tapped it to the back of the dress. SERIOUSLY! That’s what this dress looks like. Talk about wearing NO colors – this dress has TOO many colors, too many flowers, and too many unidentified objects attached to it. It’s miz and I’m hating. 

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2018 Golden Globes Red Carpet BLACKOUT

Best Dressed a la Golden Globes (Red Carpet BLACKOUT)

On Sunday night, Hollywood gathered at the 75th Annual Golden Globes Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., and the theme of the night was more than just honoring film and television - it was all about honoring women and supporting the Time's Up movement. And do this, women and men graced the red carpet in all black. And sure, you were prob real nervous that the award show carpet was gonna look like a funeral buuut it actually looked pretty cool. Women and men took the all black dress code and ran with it prompting awesome hair and make up styling, stand out accessories, and just really cool and different ways to wear all black.

But per usual, even though everyone wore the same shade, not everyone looked amazing.

Worst dressed to come later, but for now - let's praise the BEST!

Here are les best dress peeps at the 2018 Globes!

BEST OF DA BEST 

Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Welp, this was easily my favorite dress of the night. I literally never, and I mean never in all my years did I think I would say these words, but Dakota Johnson was my favorite dress of the night. GASP. She always wears Gucci because she is a Gucci gal, but this has to be the best Gucci gowns she has ever worn or that I’ve seen like period. The front is so simple, but the diamond waist belt is gorgeous and just when you think it’s just this basic black dress, BOOM the back is an explosion of silver sparkle and chiffon and I DIE for it. It’s like the heavens attached to a dress and it's everything. 

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Angelia Jolie in Atelier Versace 

I was recently re-watching “Mad Men” episodes and having some serious 1960s nostalgia and then I turn on the Golden Globes and THIS happened. Angie showed up looking like a mod goddess in this gorgeous Versace gown with a chiffon overlay and feathered edges. The mom, who brought her 14 year-old son Pax, to the awards, styled her look with a glam 60s up do and diamond jewels. Not to get into the age old Brad Pitt feud, but she DEF looked more glam than Jen. Oops. All hail Angie. 

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Saoirse Ronan in Atelier Versace 

The “Ladybird” actress who took home the award for best actress in a comedy or musical looked like winner in this futuristic black and silver gown. The actress took a tote from red carpet vet Angie and also wore Versace and paired the look with one gorgeous diamond bangle and a slicked back hair do. Congrats Lady(bird)!

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Catherine Zeta Jones in Zuhair Murad 

Its official – CZJ is my spirit animal. I literally don’t even know how old she is and I don’t want to know, but one thing I do know is that if I can wear this sheer and embellished Zuhair gown and SLAY when I’m whatever age she is, then I will have succeeded at life. Catherine looks better than some 20 year olds and her va-va-voom hair with the emerald chandelier earrings – UGH. It’s perfection. Hey Michael Douglas – can Cath marry me?! 

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Nicole Kidman in Givenchy 

Well, there’s no surprise here – Nicole looks gorgeous. She always looks gorgeous. She looked as if she descended from the heavens – EVEN in ALL black. That’s hard to do ladies. And of course, Nicole won best actress in a limited series for “Big Little Lies,” so the star just all around glittered on Sunday night. Not to mention the intricate back of the gown, which made her look like a sparkling butterfly and I was so here for it. Congrats Nic!

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BEST

Jessica Biel in Dior 

UGH. So while I’m like happy for Nicole or whatever lol, I was also really rooting for Jessica Biel to win for “The Sinner,” which honestly is another thing I never thought I would say haha. I have never really been a huge Jessica Biel fan but “The Sinner” turned me into a Biel-iever? LOL. Does that work?! Anyway “Sinner” aside, Jess always looks STUNNING on red carpets (let’s not forget her Emmys look when I literally died and went to J. Biel heaven), so she makes best dress because again, she looks spectacular. Nuf said. 

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Alison Brie in Vassilis Zoulias

Aliso Brie is such a cutie. I literally always forget she’s married to Dave Franco, like literally always – but I mean it’s fine. Anyway, I loved her whole dress/ pants look. I actually had no idea it was pants until I took a closer look, but it’s such a beautiful 1950s looking ball gown, but with pants and it's amazing. The sweet heart neck like with a diamond necklace is sheer perfection and even though Brie didn’t win for “GLOW,” she’s def a winner in my ring. Also, she said this really cute thing in her red carpet interview about women “wearing the pants” in Hollywood and I just died even more for her pants look.

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Kerry Washington in Prabal Gurung
Ahhh Kerry. I love Kerry’s red carpet style because she never ever does the same thing twice and everything she wears is ALWAYS a surprise. Sometimes you wanna bow down and sometimes you’re like ehhh I don’t know, BUT her fashion risks are what make her a red carpet icon and I LOVE this look. It’s def a Prabal runway look which is why it’s so unique, but I love the mid-length, asymmetrical cut with the embellished booties. AH! LOVE the booties! Like, no one has done this – it’s daring but so freaking cool. And fashion aside, let’s all just take a minute to note her fabulous waved hair and luminous makeup – she literally radiates true BEAUTY. Like now I need a minute to reflect on my life…

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Issa Rae in Prabal Gurung

ISSA PARY ISSA PARTY. Oh man. My girl Issa Rae showed UP to her first Globes and looked SO fierce. But okay to be fair, when I first saw this dress I was like: Is this dress to much? But then I saw it shimmer in the light and when Issa posed on the carpet with her Angelina Jolie leg I was like BOOM. There ya go. Perfect. And like my other soul sista Kerry, Issa also chose Prabal and styled her black, flowy gown with a plunging emerald and diamond necklace. Stunning. This look, well, ISSA VIBE.

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Halle Berry in Zuhair Murad 
Okay, so I know what you’re thinking and I’m gonna go ahead and say it before we all jump to conclusions. YES, there’s a whole lot of skin showing and YES, this may not be the most Globes “suitable” dress. LOL. BUT let’s back it up. While this dress may be more acceptable for say, the Grammys, Halle looks SO good in this barely-there lace mini – I’m sorry but no one else could wear this and look THIS good so at the end of the day, SHE WINS. P.S. she’s 50. So, yeah we can all just go and screw ourselves. This girl’s time will NEVA be UP. Ya feel me?

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SJP in Dolce and Gabbana 

So, I know this dress is going to hit or miss for a lot of people, but anyone who knows me knows that I love anything from 1700s, Rococo era France (and for those who don’t know what that is, um go pick up a history book or just go watch Marie Antoinette lol), and THIS D&G dress is an extremely cool take on that era, but transformed into a modern red carpet look and I LOVE it. I love everything from corset waist, to the ruffled skirt and with the bold embellishments, to the voluminous sheer sleeves. Ugh, I love it all. And if this dress was long and looked more of like an 18^th century costume, I’d still wear it.

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Margot robbie in Gucci

Another Gucci gal who looked stunning on Sunday night was Tonya – OH I’m sorry, I mean Margot. Whoops! Classic “I, Tonya” mix up. And even though she didn’t win the award last night, Margot, who literally always looks amazing letz be honest, dazzled in this 1930s inspired number. The vintage cut of the dress fit her body to the tee and ornate pattern on the gown was just the definition of a work of art. Well done Gucci. Well done.

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Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton 

My girl Alicia always rocks LV on the carpet, being one of the faces of the French brand, and while the front of this just is just a very simple, collared, chiffon gown with black sequined embellishments, the BACK is a whole nothaa story. The back of this dress makes the entire look and I think this is one of the most elegant gowns of the night. It’s understated, but still fashion forward. And this is Alicia relaaaxing people, since she only presented last night. This was her “chill” look and I salute that.

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Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent 

Ahhh Zoe. Literally no words.

JK I always have words LOL. But this girl literally takes my breath away. Zoe did the MOST without doing ANYTHING at all. The girl has on a simple - dare I say basic - strapless Saint Laurent gown, but for some reason, she just looks better than half the people on the carpet. Not to mention the styling of the look is what really brings it home. Not only does she look striking with a bold red lip, she accessorized the look with giant emerald stone earrings that just SLAY. UGH she’s beautiful. Looking at her hurts my eyes and SHE’S WEARING BLACK. Ladies and gentlemen – this is how it’s done. 

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Meghan and Harry Are Tying the ROYAL Knot!!!

FIVE Reasons WHY Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Engagement Is Literally THE BEST News EVER!

AHHHHHH!!! I woke up at 5:30 AM this morning to the world's BEST news! Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are ENGAGED YALL!!!! What a momentous DAY!


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Prince Harry and Markle stand outside The Sunken Gardens at Kensington Palace for their engagement photo call. 


Anyone who knows me well knows that I am legit losing my shit and genuinely cannot contain my excitement about the official news. Like, everyone's engagements or weddings from now until whenever Harry and Meghan get married are just irrelevant. Sorry.


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Markle shows off her engagement ring made of diamonds owned by Harry's mother, Lady Diana Spencer. 


While the Kardashians are running around supposedly pregnant and sexual harassment scandal escalates in Hollywood (UGH) FINALLY there is some GOOD and HAPPY entertainment news!!!

After a year and half of dating, Harry finally PUT A RING ON IT! The 33-year old, red headed Prince has officially proposed to 36-year old "Suits" actress, Meghan Markle. YEEEE!!

The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince Harry to Ms. Meghan Markle. pic.twitter.com/zdaHR4mcY6

— Clarence House (@ClarenceHouse) November 27, 2017

Kensington Palace released an official statement regarding the couple's engagement via the office of Prince Charles. In the formal announcement, Clarence House said that the fanciful couple became engaged earlier this month (YUP we knew they were just hiding it), and that Queen Elizabeth II has given the couple their blessing and consent to marry. The royal family also took to Twitter to express their excitement about the news.

The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh are delighted for the couple and wish them every happiness. https://t.co/aAJ23uSbao

— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) November 27, 2017

The royal nuptials are scheduled to take place in Spring 2018, which to me means April since that's when William and Kate were married. And if NOT April, then like by June and def before July. The royal wedding turn-around is REAL ya'll.

Once the newly royals are wed, they will officially seek residence in Nottingham Cottage on the Kensington Palace estate.

So, today we're joining the world in celebrating exciting news while we all await the next big royal wedding. And in doing so - here are our five reasons why Prince Harry's impending marriage to Meghan is literally THE BEST NEWS EVER.

God, I hope she wears Alexander McQueen...like Kate and well, Serena Williams. Lol.

REASONS

1. THEY'RE SO IN LOVE 

Like have you SEEN a more in love couple?! Though William and Kate shared a long-time admiration for each other that began during their collage days, Meghan and Harry's kinda random meeting and whirlwind romance reeeally makes you believe in (or want to believe in) head-over-heels romance. Like this is a whole new definition of waiting for prince.

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Prince Harry and Markle at their engagement photo call, Monday 27. 


2. MEGHAN IS AN AMERICAN MARRYING INTO THE ROYAL FAM

That's right! Not only is this just a BIG deal for England it's also a BIG deal for the US as well because Meghan will be the FIRST American to casually, emphasis on casually, marry into the British royal family and become part of the monarchy. I meaaaan HELLO - THIS IS HISTORY PEOPLE.

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Markle and Prince Harry made their first official public appearance at the Invictus games this past September.


3. MEGAN IS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALE MARRYING INTO THE ROYAL FAM

Meghan is literally the new definition of #BlackGirlMagic. The actress is bi-racial - her mother being African American and her father being Caucasian. Not only will Meghan make history as the first American to marry into the British royal family, she will also be the first AFRICAN AMERICAN just in the monarch like EVER. THAT'S FREAKING NUTS YALL. Meghan is basically Grace Kelly and Obama rolled into ONE and I can NOT deal with it because I love it SO MUCH.

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Markle photographed with her mother at the Invictus games on September, 30.


Literally CANNOT wait to see MAMA MARKLE in the wedding carriage with the QUEEN!! IT'S A BIG DEAL YALL.

Always proud of this beautiful woman. This was when she graduated from USC with a masters in social work. Honoring my mom, Doria, and all the amazing mamas in our lives. Special thanks to my girls @serenawilliams @oliviapalermo @piamiller @mishanonoo @priyankachopra @iamsarahgrafferty for sharing the best advice their moms ever gave them on my site @_thetig ✨ read all the pearls of wisdom here: http://thetig.com/mother-knows-best/ #mothersday #TheTig ❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Meghan Markle (@meghanmarkle) on May 8, 2016 at 10:46am PDT

Side note: If you actually didn't know that Meghan was half black theeen you need to READ THIS incredibly heart felt essay Markle wrote for Elle UK in 2015 about being bi-racial and what it means today.

And if you want to know more about WHO Meghan is - READ THIS. Yes, I wrote it. LOL.

4.  MEGHAN IS OLDER THAN HARRY 

So, even though Meghan is only three years older than Harry - this is a serious wake up call for girls everywhere who are constantly worried about age when it comes to dating. So, take a tip from the newly engagement couple - AGE IS JUST A FREAKING NUMBER! And if you happen to be older than your Prince Charming - WHO CARES!

5. THEIR FUTURE ROYAL BABIES 

OMG. Don't even get me started on how BEAUTIFUL Megan and Harry's babies are gonna be. It's gonna be EPIC. UGH, I wish Diana was here for this. The fact that we can even say that there's going to be adorable racial ambitious babies in the royal family is just amazing. Like imagine little quarter black babies with Meghan's freckles and Harry's red hair running around the Kensington Palace grounds! I'M DEAD.

And let's just be real, she's gonna be like an unreal mother.

Regram from my website @thetigofficial 💫 Find out my answer to the question I get asked most (link in bio) & right here 👉🏽http://thetig.com/how-to-be-both/ #bethechange #grateful (photo cred: @gaborjurina )

A post shared by Meghan Markle (@meghanmarkle) on Oct 24, 2016 at 10:11am PDT

Welp, that's all I have to say about all of that - FOR NOW. Until 6pm that is when the newly engaged couple will make their debut on the BBC for their royal wedding interview.

STAY TUNNED!

Until then, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking champ for the remainder of the day in honor of the newly engaged couple while trying to book my flight to England for next Spring. Who's coming with?!!!

BEST. MONDAY. EVER.

Worst Dressed a la EMMYS

There was great fashion at the 2017 Emmys and some pretty TERRIBLE fashion. Per usual. I don't really have much to say about the MIZ dresses - OH WAIT - JK! Of course I do! So, here they are - all the dresses from the Emmys that I literally never want to see again.

Seriously, after writing this I went and stared at Jessica Biel's shimmery fairy tale dress of happiness for like half an hour to remind myself of what good fashion was...

Ladies and gents (but prob mostly ladies) - all the WORST fashion a la Emmys:

THE GOOD 

(as in the not totally MIZ but still kinda MIZ) 

Priyanka Chopra in Balmain

Okay, so is this an UGLY dress? No. Does Priyanka, like face wise, look phenomenal? Yes. But, that's just science. This dress isn't ugly, Priyanka is GORGEOUS, but this whole dress looks like a bedazzled duvet cover...I'm sorry. It literally looks like a bedazzled duvet cover that kinda ripped at the bottom and the feathers are coming out. It also looks SO heavy and makes her look heavier than she is which is never good, and finally, it just looks HOT. I mean Sophia Vergara was walking around the red carpet with a mini fan - Priyanka MUST have been boiling!!  But I mean dress aside, her makeup, her hair looks amazing.  Like, she's totally working the duvet cover but it's not a great dress. AHH soorry PRI!!

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Mandy Moore in Carolina Herrera

Ugh. This is another just unfortuante design situation because again - is this an ugly dress? No. Does Mandy look beautiful? YES. Her hair and make up are AMAZING. I LOVE the hot pink lip, like that just makes my day, but the dress, UGHH. As beautiful as Carolina Herrera dresses are, I just really, really wish this dress was ALL one color. Because the white strip in the middle, Mandy could either be compared to skunk or an Oreo. Idk which one is better? Maybe an Oreo because you can eat it? IDK! But the fabric of the dress is beautiful and they way it flows is great, which is why at the end of the day it isn't ugly, it just isn't great.

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Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen

This whole batch of celebs are suffering from a case of just bad design from great designers. Because for the THIRD time - is this dress totally ugly? Nooo. In fact, I think it's kind of cool, but Sarah unfortuantely had a tiny fashion malfunction where her black Spanx came through the top of the cut out of the dress. Yikes. Also, why are you wearing black Spanx?! Like wear nude!! DUH. Common sense. And then if you look really closely, you can also see her bra. I don't even blame Sarah though, I blame her stylist. But on the up side, her body looks UNREAL. So I mean, kudos to that.

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THE BAD

Nina Kiri in Self Portrait

Errrr. This look actually angers me. WHY? Because - WHY are you wearing a Self Portrait like garden party dress to the Emmys?!! WHYYY?! I legit don't get it. It's your first Emmys and you're trying to make a statement and then you show up in this?! A dress that honestly SO many people own or could own, its just SOO boring and so basic. Now, I love Self Portrait as a designer, but this is NOT an Emmy red carpet dress. At all. Just wrong time, wrong place. Like I would wear this to like a cocktail party or church. And if you are going to wear this dress on a carpet, don't wear the black and blue!! It's soooo boring ugh.

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Samantha Bee in Rubin Singer

So, I really, really want to like this dress for the sake of Samantha Bee because SB is such a BOSS. I actually really appreciate the style of the dress - the 1940s vintage glam look, but the dress itself is just lack luster. Not to mention it's ill fitting on her body. There are places where it looks to big? And the shoulder area is taking OVER, like it's too much on her frame. I think this dress would have been a lot better if it was 1) sleeves and 2) just fit better.  Ugh, she really does look like she lives in the Emerald City and is married to the Wizard and that's just not the way to go. Unless you're Dorothy I guess, but like no.

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Ajiona Alexus in Temraza

Oy. Yeah, that's how I'm starting out about this one. So, this "dress" has been getting mixed reviews - it's on some people's best dressed and some people's like NOT best dressed. It's on my NOT best dressed because for the love of GOD there is TOO much going on! Like there's a huge flower one side, there's a sparkly train on the other, there's bell bottom pants, and the bodice is this pointed corset, I'm just like AHH STOP! WE GET IT. The whole ensemble is like trying SO hard to be different that it's just too much. I'm sorry. I hate it. But questionable jumpsuit aside, Aijona's face looks fabulous.

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Gillian Anderson in Sophia Kah 

Zzzzzz. WOAH, sorry was I sleeping? Yeah, this dress is just boring. I don't really have much to say about this. Oh, and it's just kinda a boring play on the velvet trend. It also doesn't fit her right and ill fitting dresses are automatically the WORST.  It kinda reminds me of a 80s/90s Christmas dress and it's just a snooze fest. BUT WAIT - when she turns around, there's a whole lace party going on in the back! Does that make the dress better? NOPE. Because now the dress just seems confused, and I'm confused too! The dress goes from Christmas in the front, to gothic Halloween in the back. Ugh. DO MORE Gillian. But not like as much as Aijona. Def do less than that. I am into her hair and makeup tho...

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Ariel Winter in Steven Khalil 

Lalala. This dress is like, whatever. On "Fashion Police," they said this dress looks like a Vegas showgirl costume and I would have to agree with that. I feel like sometimes Ariel tries SO hard to be sexy? So, these double slits are just too high for me. She was def risking a possible fashion malfunction. But, I'm all for Ariel's like preaching to women about loving themselves and not caring what people think - I def agree, but I'm still judging your Emmy look cause it wasn't red carpet classy at all. It was more like Vegas red carpet outside of the club classy, which basically means not classy LOL.

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Guiliana Rancic in Monsoori 

I feel like the E! Entertainment lighting bolt is going to strike me for saying what I'm about to say about Giuliana's Emmy dress, but this is an example of when tulle goes bad. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE tulle. Like, if I could wear sequins and tulle everyday - I would. But, this tulle, not only looks like the cheap Halloween tulle from a witch costume, its TOO much of it. She literally looks like Ursula's daughter. And I really don't get what's going on with the sleeves? Like the sleeves look ripped, like someone just went up to her and ripped the sleeves right off. This dress isn't ugly, it's just well, BAD.

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THE UGLY ( aka the MIZ ) 

Heidi Klum in Dundas by Peter Dundas

Welp, just like they say on 'Project Runway:' "One day you're in and the next day, you're out!" Well, unfortunately, in this outfit, the super model needs to take a cue from her own TV show slogan and she needs to mark herself as OUT. Now, Heidi herself looks great as always, but the dress with these oversized wooden bangles?! NO. Like her GIANT earrings look like sugar frosted donuts just hanging from her ears. It looks like she's going to the Coachella Awards if there was ever such thing. And the crazy thing is her jewelry is ALL Lorraine Schwartz, which apparently costs like more than a small home, but I don't care how much your jewelry is. If you're pairing donut earrings with a twisty, bright red sun dress, I'm still gonna say it looks AWFUL. Even if you are Heidi Klum. This was NOT a 'make it work' moment and I think Tim Gunn would not be pleased. He'd def be sending Heidi home to clean up her work space...lolz.

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Debra Messing in Romona Keveza

"Will & Grace" may be making a comeback, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I really never want to see this dress again. This is basically another version of Kate Winslet's trash bag dress (I love you Kate but that was your WORST fashion choice of all time), but in deep wine color. And it's not just the dress that's awful it's the whole look. The whole look is styled TERRIBLY. Like what is that paten belt on the dress, and why is she wearing crazy drop-down earrings that have specs of neon when she looks like and over-sized glass of red wine?! And lastly, one of the things that I have always loved about Debra Messing was her hair, but her hair looks like dead with this dress. The color of the dress just makes her hair look dull and it's also kinda "messy?" (No pun intended LOL). It was like she tried to do Jessica Biel's side swoop hair, but it didn't work. Idk it's all AWFUL. Sorry, Debs.

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Ellie Kemper in Jenny Packham

Ugh. This makes me sad. Because this is another sad example of when an embellished dress goes horribly wrong. I literally hate everything about this look. From far away the dress looks like she's wearing a navy slip with a sheer thing over it that has like a spider web of Michael's store gems and foil hot glued to it. And then on top of that, her hair style looks really gimmicky with the long, toy looking purple earrings. YUCK. And if you look closely, you can really see the slip underneath and it really does look like a night gown. I really hate to tear apart Ellie Kemper because she doe seem like the nicest and happiest person in the world, but I really, really hate this look. And that's putting it lightly.

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Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Armani Prive

This another sad one because I don't think I have ever put an Armani Prive gown on the worst dressed list ever. Like EVER. I love Armani Prive, in fact it is one of my favorite red carpet designers. Naomi Watts is the QUEEN of Prive and she always looks amazing in it on carpets, but this dress is not doing Prive any justice. Oy. Literally that one puffy sleeve reminds me of those big ass hair bows my mom used to stick on one side of my head in the 90s. And WHAT IS HER PURSE?! Her purse literally looks like the Super Bowl trophy. It's like a small, crystal football. And while a small, crystal football may look good with a different dress, her purse looks TOO much like her one puffy sleeve and I JUST CAN'T.

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Zuri Hall in Raisa & Vanessa

Ahhh, Zuri. I said it once and I'll say it again, the E! Gods may smite me but, I really hate this dress. I also hate her hair, but Zuri continuing to wear different wigs is like another rant that I won't even get into right now. Her hair looks like the fringe of the dress, which I think she did on purpose,  but the dress literally looks like it engulfed her and then took over her hair in the process.  She's SO skinny and this dress makes her look even skinner because it looks so heavy. And what are those random "peek-a-boo" holes everywhere?! EEEK! Personally, I think this whole look is another bad example of an embellished dressed gone bad - it looks like curtains.  In Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O'Hara literally had no money, was like legit post Civil War plantation destitute, and she managed to make a STUNNING like spectacular dress out of curtains. Zuri's dress wishes it was like HALF as legit as Scarlett O'Hara's. LOL. Seriously, if I had to pick a hand made curtain dress, I'd still go with Scarlett's.

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END SCENE. LOL.


If you're eyes are currently blinded by this year's worst Emmy looks, calm them down by checking out this year's BEST looks HERE.