TSwift clearly doesn’t know WHAT the word 'single' means unless it’s referring to topping charts...
Welp, this JUST in – Taylor Swift has claimed another victim
and this time it’s none other than the dashing Tom Hiddleston. Swoon?! YES. He’s
great. But the issue? UM, Taylor. Girl has the MOST ridiculous dating track
record like I think, EVER.
Cause WHO goes from dating a high school junior (Connor
Kennedy, LITERALLY he was a junior at my prep school, Deerfield, Deerfield ra,
ra, ra!) To dating wanna-be rock stars in boy bands like Harry Styles and Joe
Jonas, to a much older Jake Gyllenhaal and OH don’t forget John Mayer, AND then
a Scottish DJ like ALL WITHOUT A BREAK?!!!! Yikes. And not ONE of these
relationships lasted longer than year might I add…and if they did, they STILL
ended and she moved on to the next without a thought.
SO, now betch just broke up – and we’re talking like two weeks ago, with Calvin Harris and now she’s caught smooching on the beach
with Tommy boy as if they have literally been dating FOREVER. Like they’re
taking freaking SELFIES ON THE BEACH…I’m sorry, but you’re NOT taking selfies,
and cuddling/making out on rocks by the ocean (LOL CAKE BY THE OCEAN…little Joe
Jonas there another former EX for ya) with someone who you’ve supposedly ONLY been
with for two weeks…like there’s no way. I mean unless of course this relationship with Tom
OVERLAPPED with Calvin, which is WHY they maybe broke up? IDK JUST SAYING. But,
then again we’re taking about Taylor Swift here. She doesn’t really know WHAT
the word single means unless it’s referring to topping charts.
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Gif via Perez Hilton. |
The girl has a serious serial dating issue and it’s only a
matter of time before she rips out the heart of poor Tommy boy and she’s just
on the next. And sure, there are those people who are reading this and are mega
TSwift fans, which is whatever, but let’s be real, Calvin Harris apparently
broke up with the girl because she “boring” and “needy,” his words NOT mine,
but I don’t disagree. She clearly craves constant attention because if she didn’t
she would be umm “taking some time for herself” after breaking apart from a
SERIOUS relationship.
AND BY THE WAY – just days before these lovely engagement-like
photos came out of Taylor and Tom (LOL that’s cute, T&T, where have we
heard that before? OH when she dated
TAYLOR LAUTNER maybe?!), Swift’s PR team
released a statement saying that Taylor was in fact: “taking some time for herself.” SO clearly that was a HUGE FAT LIE,
because from what it looks like, Taylor and Tom are planning their wedding…JK tho
on the wedding front because honestly I don’t see Taylor really making it that
far…she has yet to find that one person to stick and if you ask any of her exes,
they’ve got noting swell to say about the “Bad Blood” pop star…like nothing.
THEN AGAIN there is the rumor that Taylor's PR crew PLANNED the Tom photoshoot and suuure you could say that maybe Calvin is just jealous, OR he’s actually just
scared for his life because his relationship with Taylor was mostly likely hell.
Aggressive? Nah. What’s aggressive is Taylor’s track record.
I give this relationship less than six months before she’s
on the next.
Really excited for that Calvin Harris hate album though. God
forbid she tries to make some EDM dance songs. LOLzzz.
LULZZZZ.
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