Bachelor Final Rose Recap

Bachelor Final Rose Recap: So Andi, Became The Bachelorette, Traveled Around The World, Hooked-Up W/ Hot Guys From ALL OVER The Nation Annnnd Ended Up With A Guy Who Lives Down The Street From Her?!!! OH....

 

 

SO, Nick is MIZ. Bottom line. Theme throughout the whole final rose episode. 

When Andi broke up with guy, he barely even cried cause I think he was SO miz. He did however  dramatically throw away his first impression rose away like OH that he STILL had, #creepy. But it's like don't worry Nick, look at it this way, Andi has to spend her whole life married to Josh and talking about baseball...and just like SPORTZZZZ 24/7!!! Like, no thanks. He's hot, but that would kill me. Like your first love should NOT be your baseball bat...

Nick was so depressed. SO much such that Chris Harrison described his stalker-like depression as: "The likes of which we've never seen on this show..." Ekkkkkk DUURAAHHMA. I mean I CALLED IT PEOPLE! NICKS LETTER!! God Nick. You got it bad like, Usher ballad bad. Stop trying to contact Andi likeee its scary. I would legit have been scared if I was her.

"I think josh is a bad fit for Andi" -- Nick. I mean, well sure.

OBV Josh is a CUSE fan...#basic

Anyways, turning tables to JOSH,  we all knew Andi was gonna pick him. Like she said she has always gone for athlete type and they've always been her mistake...HA well good job Andi! Athlete type round 2...hopefully he plays a better half than the rest of the former athlete losers you've dated...(lolz relationship sportz references - ball's in HIS court, or should we say field?)

So, when Josh gave his SUPER rehearsed and we mean monologue rehearsed love speech to Andi, he OBV mention his "first love - baseball" FIRST. LIKE FIRST. Are you KIDDING ME?! Andi is gonna go to bed at night and find a baseball bat in their bed in HER place. HEYY BATTER, BATTER, SWING!

So I guess, even though Josh's speech sounded again SUPER rehearsed, they seem to I guess really love each other? I mean they would NOT stop kissing sooooo...all those aggressive little pecks? Yuck. Not about that life, but thanks for sharing. Oh well, the one thing they DO have is that they look great together....like they def would have great looking babies. So, that's also something.

Side note:  Out of all of Andi's dresses that she wore she HAD to wear that ONE in the finale! I'm sorry, she just wore SO many better ones throughout the season, I wasn't a fan. So miz.

Let's fast forward to the FUN AWKWARDNESS WITH NICK! YAY! 

The whole thing with Nick was like cringe worthy. I could NOT. Likee ehhhh, SO awk. You just kept wanting it to end!!! And the Nick was all putting Andi on the spot...yikes. ALSO NICK SPILLED THE BEANS ABOUR SEX A LA FANATSY SUITE. Like I had to rewind what he said to her!
He LIT said: "I just...I don't why you made love to me?" AHHHHh!! And Andi got SO awk, as she should have been,  and was like UMM OKAY NICK that should have been private.

LIKE WAS NICK A VIRGIN?!  I'm pretty sure it was a virgini that's the only explanation for Nick being Like he's SOOO attached to her. It was def sex thing for Andi I think. Lol. I mean, she chose Josh like after le sex with him. I just know it! Oh, and I guess cause Josh isn't a stalker. But, she def bitched Nick out during the commercial break about it...cause like, who does that?

But all in all, Andi looked great! I liked her white, lace dress...wedding implication perhaps? LOLzzz. I'm just excited cause Andi's name after they get hitched is gonna be Andi Murray...like the tennis playerr!! LOL. (Love him). WHICH Josh pointed out earlier on the show...but he OBV had NO idea why "Andi Murray", and I quote, "Had a great ring to it..." #Idiot.


 


But, hey,  according to Josh: "The show works!" Yup. Just like it's match.com or something. Thanks
Josh.

photos via @andi_dorfman and @joshmurray11

Miz Factor Men Tell All Recap

Miz Factor Men Tell All Recap: Marquel's Cookie, JJ Causing Dramz, Marcus In Paradise, And Chris is DEF The New Bach...

So, last night was the moment that we have all been waiting for...and NO I do NOT mean the Bachelorette Final (because SPOILER, but not really, we all know who she picks and if you DON'T know...question whether or not she'd actually choose stalker Nick...just sayinn), I OBV mean The Men Tell All. Ah, yes. The Tell Alls are always, the most fun. There's always awk drama, awk confessions, and it's normally just overall AWK. So let's revisit what happened last night sha'll we? YUP. We sha'll.

Just to be clear, I am not going to really make to many comments about Ashley and JP's little surprise ultra sound...I mean cause like do I really need to say anything at all? Like, great they're still in love and happy, but they 100% def already knew they were having a boy, so whatever. They made bank for that. Good for them.

NOW...A word about Bachelor In Paradise...

So, like I guess spoiler round 2, but I mean, Chris is def the bachelor since Marcus and MARQUEL are on bachelor in paradise...and Cody, and Dylan, apparently. Yeah, that should be fun.  It's like easy to recognize all the guys from douche bag creepy Chris to that crazy asshole Ben character, but besides the one arm girl Sara...like Who ARE the girls?! OH and Clare...LOL Clare. SHE'S BACK. You hate her, but you shadily LOVE that she's back. Cause she's just gonna cause all sorts of drama let's be real. This is television gold.

And NOW...those 25 Men...

Can I just say: Scarf CITAYY. Like okay, that was kinda funny, but like kinda miz because there were just like SO many awk scarves this season. Like, I'm still NOT over Josh's baby Burberry scarf that he wrapped around his meat head neck...so awk. Also, there were so many bright pants and like suit jackets. I mean, sure, I don't hate that.

People who be looking hot: JJ, Chris (farmer Chris obv, not Chris Harrison) Dylan (he cut his hair), that guy Carl...the fire fighter...he had a sick bod, and of course, the lovely cookie monster Marquel. WHAT A GEM. Like, if there were to EVER be a black Bachelor (#diversity), then it should be Marquel.

MARQUEL is literally best! Great guy,  always smiling, cookie me plzzz, like why IS he SINGLE?! And Marcus, and Chris...and well, most of those guys. WHY are you single?! We don't get it. 

Anyway so the awk thing with Marquel this season was the supposed bachelor racist comment about Andi giving the rose to the "blackies" aka Marquel and Ron (who is half black, but I mean sure). Classic Bachelor racism. SO, do we know what really happened? NO. Will we ever know? NO. Was this probably made for TV? Ehh, YES. But, still, why is JJ causing all this drama tho?!! Like he was def being such a gossip...but I like his pantsapaneur swag (is that how you spell it? Whatever, it's not REAL). I've always been a fan of the trendy nerd #SethCohen for life. 

So on to MARCUS...who is only 25!!! Like WHAT? Okay, he seems and is super mature for his age, but 25?! AH. You were in college like 2 years ago! He doesn't need to be married, but he's like so hot and so successful for 25, Jesus. Marcus, enjoy your damn life dude love will come...if not in paradise HA, then later on...and that girl will be a lucky one.

CHRIS, aww. Nugget. Heart broken IOWA Chris.  SOO like I totally forgot about the prop plane that he had for Andi at his hometown...also Chris did by far have the best family, like she was stupid not to pick him, but then again the whole Iowa thing...#yikes. But, if anything the way he said bye to her should make her wanna take him back...cause again Nick is crazy and Josh is...ugh.

BUT LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT GIRL IN THE AUDIENCE AND CHRIS...like it def seemed super staged and everyone was SO awk like Chris basically wanted to die of laughter as did MARQUEL and JJ...like wtf? Like who was that girl? How much did she get paid?! I was just so confused...And the whole speed dating thing was painfully awk to hear and watch, I just COULD NOT. Like why did that happen?? Slash, if you could do that, why didn't anyone stand up for Marcus?! I seriously thought that's how they were gonna announce that Chris was the Bachelor, but I was def wrong. Like, was it to kil time?! I just don't. get. it.

So, finally Andi comes out. She looks great, I loved all the sequins and shiz. She's hot, whatevs. But, I felt like the segment with her was SUPER short, like she answered everyone's questions so easily and directly (kinda like they were all scripted hmm), and there was really zero drama with her...EXCEPT...the lie detector results LOL.

Side note: Did anyone else cringe when Chris (Harrison) said daddy as he whipped out the envelope?! NO THANKS.

SO the Lying Game, hmm. Okay well OBV Brian, Chris, and JJ didn't lie...like they're all gems. Even tho people were talking smack about JJ's gossiping, looks like he isn't a liar after all. Dylan, LOL, of course Dylan lied. But then we discover he lied throughout the whole test which is hilarious. The ONE time he told the truth was about the not washing his hands HAHA again, TV GOLD.

So who else lied? Welp, none other than Josh. Of course he freakin lied like Josh never seemed like the guy with a heart of gold. And she's all like, she doesn't want to know what Josh lied about when Chris Harris is all like: "well if there were one of my final two, I'd wanna know" because it apparently had something to do with relationships? GASP.  Like Andi is so confusing because she has clearly had reservations about Josh the WHOLE time yet, he's still around and he DEF wins. Sorry, Nick.

ehhhh awk sauce...Josh SO doesn't lie, I LOVE him...#baseball

MY THEORY: Fantasy suite syndrome - Andi def just had great sex with josh in the fantasy suite and was like yeah...I'll keep him BUT well see how long that last...Josh is just a tad shady slash an athlete douche BUTTT, while I feel like when he talks he sounds like he's about to pitch a baseball, I think they would have super attractive kids...it's the whole tan dark hair thang...so whatever.

Meant 4 each otha 

So, The Men Tell ended...the best thing about the show was probably Marquel giving out black and white cookies to audience...but, WHAT WAS THE ENDING WITH THAT LETTER?!

Like SO SHADY. Andi did not looked too pleased. Well, if you're a celebrity obsessed, pop culture freak like me, and you read US Weekly every week, then you know what THAT article said about Andi and Nick and Josh...basically US Weekly also kinda gave the ending away, because they talk about how Andi is happy with her final choice, but the guy she says bye to (aka Nick), is NOT happy, and is in shock and basically proceeds to stalk her and send her letters and say that they are meant to be, yada-yada. Sounds like classic Nick to me. OH, so basically, that's what I think that letter means...

If I am TOTALLY wrong about Andi picking Josh, then like I'll never watch the Bach again (however this does not include Bachelor in Paradise...#smirkemoji)

EMMY NOMS 2014!!!!!

It's ALL About Breaking Bad, Orange Is Da New Black...And Downtown Abbey? YUP. The 2014 Emmy Noms Are Out!! And They Are SO GREAT...It's Hard To Choose Just One Winner...

photo via 



So basically, drugs, prison, and living in post WWI England are pretty freaaaking cool because these shows are this year's 2014 Emmy front runners! WHOOHOO! (Liit all my favorite shows, SO I can't complain...) Congrats to Breaking Bad, OITNB, and Downtown (obv). Not to mention several other TV series in the Emmy spot light such as Masters of Sex (which is AH-maze, if you haven't watched it), House of Cards (go ahead with yo bad self Kevin Spacey), Scandal, Homeland, and of course, Game of Thrones.

Okay, okay, so here are the ACTUAL Emmy front runners (besides the front runners in my head) and the shows leading the way with the MOST Emmy Noms this year are...

Game of Thrones - 19 (obv)
Fargo - 18 (I know...right?!)
SNL - 14 (yee)
OITNB - 12 (YA! CONGRATS!)


Now, if you know me, I love TV...and movies...but, like I LOVE TV. Like, really good TV.  None of this Bachelor crap (lolzzz JK tho). Anyway, the Emmy's they say is one of the most "boring" award shows, cause is super long, there's like SO many categories, yada-yada, but I mean I love it because I love the celebration of TV and Hollywood's best TV actors as a whole, ya know? This is the time where like Breaking Bad and Mad Men come together...I love that shiz! OH, and Seth Meyers is HOSTING! YESSS. This is too good.
 

There are so many amazing nominees this year, it's like hard to just root for one show! After reading all the nominations I was super overwhelmed. Here are some of the categories that literally cause me to make life and death decisions....

Best Drama Series

"Breaking Bad"

"Downton Abbey"

"Game of Thrones"

"House of Cards"

"Mad Men"

"True Detective"

photo via

LIKE LITERALLLY?!!! Ugh, like if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to choose one, I'd probably die...I just don't even know! (Okay, so I'd prob choose Mad Men, been a die hard fan since 2007, BUT most likely to win? Breaking Bad or GOT). 

Best Actress in a Drama Series

Lizzy Caplan, "Masters of Sex"

Claire Danes, "Homeland"

Michelle Dockery, "Downton Abbey"

Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife"

Kerry Washington, "Scandal"

Robin Wright, "House of Cards"

photo via

But like, I LOVE ALL OF THEM. Don't MAKE ME CHOOSE!  (So, it'd be a pretty aggressive toss up between Kerry and Michelle...but, I literally can NOT choose one.  I honestly don't know who will win but I'm thinking possibly Robin Wright).

Supporting Actress, Drama Series

Anna Gunn, "Breaking Bad"

Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey"

Lena Headey, "Game of Thrones"

Christine Baranski, "The Good Wife"

Christina Hendricks, "Mad Men"

Joanne Froggatt, "Downton Abbey"

photo via

Ugh, again. For real, I literally, actually, am obsessed with ALL these women. (But, like Anna Gunn will most likely win). 

Best Actor in a Drama Series

Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"

Jeff Daniels, "The Newsroom"

Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"

Woody Harrelson, "True Detective"

Matthew McConaughey, "True Detective"

Kevin Spacey, "House of Cards"

photo via

WAHHHH!!! Kevin or Jon?! ORR Bryan or Matthew OR Woody?! Oh, sorry Jeff. Anyways, I think umm, ugh I don't know. (So, like let's be real, Bryan will prob win. Case closed. Matt you have an Oscar now, don't be greedy). 

Supporting Actor, Drama Series

Aaron Paul, "Breaking Bad"

Jim Carter, "Downton Abbey"

Peter Dinklage, "Game of Thrones"

Josh Charles, "The Good Wife"

Mandy Patinkin, "Homeland"

Jon Voight, "Ray Donovan"

(Sooooo like if Aaron doesn't win....) 

photo via

 

 

SHOUT OUTS TO DA BEST NOMS: "God, I love ya..." 

 

 

photo via 

MATT MARRY ME...ugh, but like why are you married to an equally attractive guy?! It's just like, not fair. 

Congrats to...

Taylor Schilling, Uzo Aduba, Laverne Cox (especially for being the first transgender performer nominated for an Emmy) and Natasha Lyonne of OITNB !!

Matt Bomer, Joe Mantello, Alfred Molina, Jim Parsons, and Julia Roberts for The Normal Heart!! 

(Special congrats to Matt for his first Emmy nom!)

Benedict Cumberbatch for Sherlock!! (I just freaking love this man...) 

 

Chiwetel Ejiofor for  Dancing on the Edge (again with these British men)

The cast of American Horror Story: Coven !! (some crazy ass freaking shi, kudos to NOLA!)

Colin Hanks for FARGO ! (he looks JUST like Tom! I love it)

Joanne Froggatt, Maggie Smith, Michelle Dockery, and Jim Carter, for Downtown!! (like, can I BE British yet?!)

aaaand of course, my girl Kerry W for Scandal (you're perfect).

EMMY SNUBS IM POed ABOUT...

Mindy Kahling - she 100% should have been nominated for The Mindy Project! That show is HILAR and she his HILAR, I'm not to happy about this

Elizabeth Moss - I mean, she runs Mad Men now and even though the show is ending soon, her character is boss. I know she won last year for her mini series Top of the Lake, which is AWeSOmE, but she needs to be recognized for MM before it goes

For ALL the 2014 Emmy noms CLICK HERE!

The Stalker, The Farmer, The Asshole-Baseball Talker...

The Stalker, The Farmer, The Asshole-Baseball Talker...That's Who Andi Is Left With...So, Likeee Do You Even CARE Anymore?! (Cause...We Don't) 

 

(miz choices...miz final three.)

Welp, that's it. On Monday night, Andi let us all down when she pulled a curve ball and got rid of the ever-so-suave-Mercedes-driving-strip-dancing-hot-abs-sports-medicine-wears-converse-with-his-polos-MARCUS!!!

LIKE WHAT?!!!

And I mean, okay, we get it. If you weren't falling in love with Marcus and it wasn't there...fair enough. BUT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH JOSH?!! LIKE WHY? Especially when she's always like: "There's something in my head telling me there's something not right when I'm with Josh..." LIKE ISN'T THAT A RED FLAG?! He's 100% going to be more in a relationship with his younger brother's possible pro football career than anything so, I would dodge that ASAP. Litterally dodge Andi, like, as if you were playing football on a fake field with Josh's family.


photo via  

That time Josh's scarf was WAAY to tight...


We DON'T get it. But, like, don't even get me started on Nick. But does anyone need to say anything about Nick? Besides the fact that he may or may not lock Andi in a basement until she screams "I LOVE YOU" back. He's a stalker - period. And like, his family was freaking crazy. First of all, there was like 20 of them...and they had all those creep-ass photos of like every single kid in the same size frame circling the walls in their living room! CREEPY. And, ugh, the way his mother was dressed?! It was like a bad time warp. She littterally looked like Lizzie McGuire's mom circa 2001. Like, not okay.


photo via

OH YA...?


 
photo via 
 
da-da-da-DAH creeper...


Marcus was litterally perfect. And I mean, Chris is super sweet, he's really hot, looks good in a vest and driving a tractor, buut who wants to actually live in Iowa?!!! No one. Not even Chris's mom. Like she def admitted she wasn't about it at first. So maybe it grew on her, but is it really going to grow on Andi? No. ALSO Marcus literally would have given her THE WORLD. From the Benz, to the amazing career, to Dallas...like Andi would do SO well in Dallas and it wouldn't even be that aggressive of a move from Atlanta. I mean, it's all still the ritzy South.

 

 photo via 

Tractor man. Two thumbs up.

Andi 110% F*$Kedd UP. The fantasy suites should be funny though. I have an awk feeling she's gonna end up with Josh or Chris because she HAS to realize that Nick is a HUGE creepier...and if she doesn't, well that blows.


photo via

Womp, womp, womp.

All I have to say is........MARCUS FOR BACHELOR. 

 

photo via



(BUT, JJ is still my favorite...)