The Bachelor Men Tell All RECAP!!

Welp, After The "Most Dramatic Season Of The Bachelorette" We Finally Made It To The (kinda super uneventful) Men Tell All...Here's Our RECAP!

Yes! We finally made it! After so many weeks of thinking this season was just REDIC and that it was never going to end, and if they were like EVER going to leave Ireland, we finally made it to the final two (Shawn and "The Other Guy"), which means....BACH MEN TELL ALL! WOOT WOOT! Prob the best part of the whole Bachelor franchise is the Tell All. Why? Cause we get to see if people still look the same 6 months after shooting the show, people act like even more of a fool, and bloopers. OBV. But of course, it wouldn't be a Bach Men Tell All without some mad promos for the upcoming season of the Bachelor Pad - OH I'm sorry I mean the other spin off, Bachelor in Paradise. (Eye roll emoji). 

SOOO just to make a brief little statement about the BIP, this season of the BIP is literally just ALL the rejects from Kaitlyn's season  (aka JJ, Jared, Joe, Jonathan... LOL all the J's) and Chris' season, (crazy Ashley, Syracuse-Kim Kardashian-virgin Ashley, Playboy-Jade, that girl Sam who like didn't speak but was super hot, and Jillian the girl who's butt was always blurred and we like didn't know why)...PLUS crazy Clare from Juan Pablo's season (I'm pretty sure she's like 35), SO yeah...good crowd. Will I watch? HA. Which means...prob. 

I mean...bleed orange? 

After some fun BIP promos, we finally got into the Tell All. So, the episode began with a little intro of all the guys, which is when you see like half the guys you don't remember and half the guys you remember and then you ask WHY in the hell did she send some of these great guys home for Nick? And then you hear who gets the most claps from the audience and who gets booed. Surprisingly, no one really got booed, I thought Ian would but, he got some cheers. I think the guy with the most cheers? Ben Z hands down. What a teddy bear. He totally would have been a nug Bachelor, but then again...ahhh Ben H. (Smirk emoji, heart eyes emoji, dancing and clapping emoji, all of the above). 

JJ on Clint...Clint on JJ...the House On Them

So, of course, one of the first things that was discussed on the tell all was OBV JJ and Clint's bromance relationship. We all knew that was coming. One of the most entertaining moments? JJ and Clint watching their love story recap reel was likeee pretty hilarious. Like so awk, but so money. Made for TV romance? Probably, but it was pretty entertaining. 

But, poor scorned JJ and Clint, before they even had a chance to defend themselves, well JK, Clint kinda did - making it clear that he was in fact on the show to find love (sure, sure), and not JJ, a lot of the men jumped on them. And the weird thing was no one was accusing them of being guy or whatever, people were just complaining about how umm anti-social they were? And how they purposely isolated themselves (#Bromance). Like...why do the other guys care so much? I mean as Clint said: He was NOT there to make friends. HA. SOOO Top Model. Tyra would be proud. 

A bitchy Tanner said to the guys: "You didn't give of a chance to know any of us"  Ummm. Question mark.  I mean like does that make any sense? LOL. OKAY, Tanner.  It's fine. Pretty sure he's also on Bachelor In 
Paradise. 

Tanner...not impressed. Like, ever. 

Then Corey with an E chimes in and starts whinning about how he thought he made friends with JJ the first night, but then by the second day JJ found Clint and was apparently over him and how Clint was an asshole. LIKE WHAT?!! This literally sounded like a high school therapy season. Why some of the guys were like butt hurt that they didn't get a chance to know Clint or JJ better (aka Corey) is beyond me. Like why did Corey want be friends Clint so badly. Lol. 




Like WHO IS YOU COREY?!  With an "E..."

AND THEN 

Then Kupah - yeah, remember him?  Out of NO WHERE and I mean no where starts talking about Nick and how he was pissed about that...and I was like WHAT?! So then the whole Nick convo started likee way to early...I think...Ugh. Miz. 

IAN

Then the convo obv moved on to what became a highlight of the Bach season, Ian, sweet life defying death Ian, who turned into a huge jack ass over night. So, naturally, the guys pick Ian apart for being an ass to Kaitlyn, but he comes Corey with an E AGAIN and he defends Ian saying that what  Ian said was just badly delivered but he kinda got what he was essentially trying to say. Of course, everyone is already annoyed with poor Corey sooo Jared steps in like he knight and shinning armor that he is and puts Corey on blast and says:  "Well, how well did you know her? How many weeks were you there?" OOOOOOO. LOL BURN. Who KNEW Jared had it in him?! I mean like...I didn't. Pretty sure Jared got some claps from that. I was just glad that he finally decided to save his awk beard...

BUT THEN...

SURPRISEEEE - IAN GOT DOWN ON KNEE AND APOLOGIZED TO THE GUYS...likeeee I literally remember thinking - wait, what's happening? It was like too deep and kinda awk but some of the guys seemed to enjoyed 
it...

"Are you proposing right now?" - Tanner. Classic, Tanner. 

Tanner...not impressed. Or high? But mainly, not impressed. 

So how good was Ian's apology? Ummm, basically he said a lot of things but he mainly expressed that what he said to Kaitlyn didn't represent who he was and he was sorry. Awww, everyone clapped and cheered and Ian got some high fives, But like mehh...whatever. 

THE HOT SEAT 

JJ 

I mean, JJ had it pretty rough. He already had to defend his whole relationship with Clint, but then after watching his flashbacks, well he obv had to defended his own slap in the face...yeah, an image that was hard to leave anyone's mind. He legit slapped himself across the face? Like, excuse me sir, but do you have problems? So, how did he defend the infamous slap? Well, he that explained because he was such a dick for throwing Clint under the bus (I mean, duh), he said someone should have slapped him and in this case...it was him. Hmm. OKAY. So that totally justifies your slap action? .Ehhh lol oooookay. Then he went on to further explain how bad he felt about how he acted with Clint and it's like I mean we know! That was obvious because you cried and then slapped yourself...

NEED WE SAY MORE?! Nah. 

But wait - there's more! Then JJ screws up again! So classic. LIT everyone's face after JJ blames his house behavior on too many years in the freaking hockey locker room...

Ummm...

LIKE NO JJ! THAT JUST MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE EVEN MORE OF A FACE SLAPPING DOUCHE!! 

Also JJ you have a 3 year old daughter yes?! Why are we STILL talking about the hockey locker room?! LOL Jesus. 

BEN Z

I mean...he's just a sweetheart. I would vote him for Bachelor buuut then there's Ben H...hahha. Nothing much happened here. What a guy. #NoDrama

JARED 

Okay, so like I was never really a huge Jared fan (the whole heart on his heart t-shirt thing was like too much for me) until he got voted - OH I mean kicked off. While Kait's there bawling and basically saying PEACE, he asked if she wants her jacket annnnnd I think everyone woman in America's heart just melted. I just DIEEDD. Like WHAT a nice guy? Why can't we all find that?! Ugh. Like you kept NICK over him?!! Sui. 

And now the Poor guy says now he hears that damn Cranberries song everywhere he goes. Ugh. Talk about Mizzz. Rough life. 

But of course, leave it to Chris Harrison to awkwardly lighten the moment, Chris calls Jared out for finally getting rid of his "spotty beard" which I mean, really really had to go, but come on Chris don't be ruuuude. 

I really do hope Jared finds love tho. But, like, hopefully not in paradise...sorry. 

BEN H 

Remember when we first fell in love with Ben H? He kinda went unnoticed for awhile but then...he talked to the kids. Oh my gosh. That was so amaze. Like HOT (future) Dad alert. If you're good with kids, you've got my heart. Love, love. 

But of course, leave it to Chris Harrison to change the tone. He the started talking about Ben's whole fear of being unlovable...like HOW does he even feel that?! EARTH TO BEN - you're perfect and WE ALL LOVE YOU. Never feel unlovable again! OH wait...he won't. HELLO NEW BACH. (Talk about America's version of an ego booster). Yeaaah, he'll be alright. 

Ben also let us into some backstage action. Oh, yeh.  He let us in on the night that Kaitlyn sneaked down to he and Shawn's room in San Antonio. And how he felt that he held back in his relationship with Kaitlyn because he felt like the "outsider" in the room when he left to umm shower...and came back and the energy between Kaitlyn and Shawn was just so THERE. And of course we know that was the night she accidentally told Shawn he was the one soo...big oops. 

DISAPPOINTMENT: OBV they didn't announce that Ben H was the new Bachelor buuut like he is...right? Ugh, they're just trying to make us watch Kaitlyn's After The Final Rose. (Major eye roll emoji). 

KAITLYN

And finally, last but not least, Kaitlyn finally sat down in the hot seat, but the convo I think was not what we expected. Chris and Kaitlyn got really deep when Chris decided to read all the Kait - I mean hate mail Kaitlyn has received during the course of this season. So miz. People suck. America needs to chill. She had fucking sex. Big deal. If your pissed about it...then maybe you ARENT having sex OR you're just SEX-IST (or like crazy religious and think she's a slut because she isn't married then LOL DONT watch the freaking Bachelor). 

Because I swear if this was a guy, I really don't think it would matter. So, I do feel bad that like she has to like go through receiving death treats, that's absurd.  But at the same time, she new this was gonna be on national TV SOO likee she knew this was def gonna blow up. I mean it still sucks tho, but like whatevs. She'll move on. Haters gonna hate (cause they aren't having sex). 

Some other good parts during Kaitlyn's hot seat tho?

When Kaitlyn asked Jonathan straight up..."UMM but didn't you vote for Britt?" LOL I mean YUP he did...priceless. 

AND 

When Ian apologized the Kaitlyn with a rose...he tried to get down on one knee but he got a leg cramp...#fail. Damn shame Ian blew his Bach chances being a cock ass. Rah Rah Deerfield! Oh and Princeton! Talk about a stereotype.

AND 

Kaitlyn telling off the world: "You trying dating multiple people and NOT mistake..." LOL I mean YA you get em Kaitlyn, I'm pretty sure that statement was supposed to be like a burn to the haters but it actually kinda came out sounding likeee defending sister-wives, buuut hahahaha but that's fine.

OTHER THANGS

I'm pretty sure Tony...remember Tony? Creepy yoga man? Ya, well I don't think he said one world the whole show. Prob part of his meditation. 

Kaitlyn actually brought up a great point which I don't think many of us have thought of...but likeee she's deathly afraid of birds right? Yet, she has two bird tats on her arm...like wait what?! LOL I mean okay...Sure she explained that the birds represent like how she always flys home yada yada but then she's like literally SO scared of birds...so like maybe she needs a new Tatoo metaphor? Idk

Also after seeing the promo for the finale...did anyone else notice that likee the final rose or whatever ISNT on the island?! It's like back at the bachelor house in LA...

I mean...

BUDGET CUTS?!!! What's up bachelor producers?!! 

God, we really don't care about women do we...I mean in terms of the Bachelorette. Ugh. Miz. 

New bromance alert? JJ and Ian...lolz

photos via 

An Ode To CLUELESS And Its 20th Anniversary

It's The 20th Anniversary Of "Clueless" And OMG We're Totaaally Bugginnn! Here Are Some Of Our FAV Qutoes/Moments From The Now Legendary Film

As the girl who is often referred To as "The Black Girl From Clueless" AKA Dionne LOL here is my ode to Clueless...

 

 I think it's safe to say that this has been one of my favorite movies since I don't know when. The first time I saw it, it was like revolutionary.(Basically life changing). And the best part about the movie, besides the zappy one liners, the epic catch phrases, and of course, the fashion, is that it literally NEVER gets old. Every time I watch it I either catch something I never understood or noticed when I was like a middle-schooler, or the hilarious things that make the movie great are even more hilarious now than they were before. 

The cult classic that taught us how to "suck and blow" and to "roll with the homies" is such a defining movie of the 90s and just like of our childhood, and of course, still resonates with most of us today. Ahhh, yes. But I do have to draw serious attention to one thing:  For those young-ins out there who love Iggy Azalea's "Fancy" video and think that she made up the concept out of nowhere - HA "AS IF!" Shame on you. So before mid drift tops, chokers, knee high socks and pleated skirts come back in style...OH WAIT JK too late...take the time to go an educate yourself and go watch Clueless like today. Celebrate the day! 

So, in honor of the amaaaze masterpiece of a film, we've complied a few of our favorite quotes from the movie along with some links to other stories that were written today about Clueless and it's impact in film history. YES. Totally. Buggin. 


BEST ONE-LINERS: 

"AS IF" 

"WHATEVER" (W shaped hands obv) 

"Rolling with da homies" 



"Surfing the crimson wave" (Literally no better way to describe a girl on her period than this). 

"It's Faux!" (referring to Deon's fake fur backpack).

"Oh my GOD, I'm totally buggin!" (Totally).

"I'm Audi."


BEST QUOTES: 

Murray: “Your man Christian is a cake boy!”

Cher/Dionne: “A what?”

Murray: “He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde–reading, Streisand-ticket-holding friend of Dorothy. Know what I'm saying?” 
(Probably the most epic way to explain that someone is gay if they are in fact...clueless).

Cher's Dad (Mel): "Cher, everywhere in LA takes 20 minutes." (I mean, duh).

Mel: Do you know what time it is? 
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy. 
Mel: What the hell is that? 
Cher: A dress. 
Mel: Says who? 
Cher: Calvin Klein. 

Cher on Christian: "He does dress better than I do? What Would I bring to the relationship? (Seriously tho...) 

Tai to Cher: "Why should I listen to you anyways? You're a virgin who can't drive. (Valid). 


Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign. 
Cher: I totally paused.

Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday?

Cher: I love him.

Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.

Cher: No, I believe that’s your designer imposter perfume.

Travis: I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy. 
(Epic. Just, epic). 

Murray: Woman, lend me fi' dollas.

Dionne: Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".

Murray: Excuse me, "Ms. Dionne."

Dionne: Thank you.

Murray: Okay, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.

(HAHAHAH. Classic). 

Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, “‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”

Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.

Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.

Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did. (Preach). 

Tai: Do you think she’s pretty?

Cher: No, she’s a full-on Monet.

Tai: What’s a monet?

Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess. (I mean, accurate).

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne: Well, there goes your social life. (HA). 

Tai: I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment.

Dionne: Oh, well we do lunch in ten minutes. We don’t have any tea, but we have Coke and stuff.

Tai: No shit. You guys got Coke here?

Dionne: Well, yeah.

Cher: Yeah, this is America. (Yeah, thank God). 

Cher: Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence.

Josh: [later] Be seeing you.

Tai: Yeah, I hope not sporadically.

Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier.And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much. (AMEN sister-friend). 

quotes and gifs via

quotes via

OTHER STORIES

TIME: 20 Things You Didn't Know About Clueless

http://time.com/3944547/clueless-20th-anniversary/

VANITY FAIR: The Definitive Oral History of How CluelessBecame an Iconic 90s Classic

 http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/clueless-oral-history-20-anniversary

VULTURE: Suck and Blow: The Oral History of the Clueless Party Scene

http://www.vulture.com/2013/12/clueless-party-scene-oral-history-alicia-silverstone.html

BUZZFEED: 33 "Clueless" References You Missed As A Kid

http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/clueless-references-you-missed-as-a-kid#.am0RR91ZZ

RIP Britney Murphy, but congrats to Paul Rudd on his recent star addition to the Hollywood Walk of fame. Clueless forever.