Bachelor Recap Episode Two: "The One With the Bad Wedding and the Bad Breakup" RECAP!
So, if you're like me and my friends and you wasted a good two hours of your life that you'll never good back watching the second episode of "The Bachelor," lol OR if you didn't - don't worry I got you. Here is my top dramatic situations from last night's episode, simplified into seven hilarious moments. Vio-la! Your BACH RECAP!
1. The Wedding Date (AKA the WORST thing you can make any single girl not even close to marriage DO!)
I mean obviously the first group date on this season of the Bach is going to be a bunch of girls running around in wedding dresses taking fake wedding photos with their fake Bachelor husband! YAY! We love it obviously. So, each girl got a different "style" of wedding dress, OR bridesmaid dress if you were like unlucky, and had to pose for sexual - I mean sensual photos with Nick. Whoever had the most Bach chemistry would win that special alone time with Nick. Duh.
So, while all the girls are going about their wedding dress business, Corinne (crazy Miami princess), gets mad when she thinks the she's the hot one during the wedding shoot but turns out she's NOT because then another girl, Brittany, shows up topless in full on Adam and Eve gear. Yup.
via GIPHY
Obviously the group date was a little weird, I mean you really shouldn't put a girl in a wedding dress unless they're actually getting married, but you know what was fun?! The fake fashion photographer. LOL. What a riot.
via GIPHY
So, much to Corinne's dismay, Brittany and Nick turn up the heat during the date in their Adam and Eve leaf costumes, and as they share the "sexy apple," LOL, the other girls start to get a little jealous. Especially, well, Corrine.
via GIPHY
Then things got awkward when Lacey got a little lonely as the sole bridesmaid in her wedding shot because Nick was obv paying more attention to the fake bride. Naturally. Slash Lacey was also wearing a retired bridesmaid dress costume from "Gilmore Girls," so then there's that...
via GIPHY
YAY maybe! Or like...maybe not.
But Lacey bounced back and snuck into the wedding shot and managed to steal a kiss! Well, right after Danielle did. Whatever. You make fun of that back to back kiss.
Sadly later, Corrine then felt the need to also take her top off to win over Nick and lucky for her - she won. Yikes. I mean, gross.
via GIPHY
2. Corrine Be CRAZZY
After the group date, despite the fact that she had basically already won, Corrine didn't let ANY girl get personal time with Nick. The crazy betch interrupted everyone else's time to get MORE time to just kiss him over and over again.
I don't know if she just likes kissing him or if just likes being the center attention...I just don't know. As the nice photographer girl put it: "It's just a lot."
via GIPHY
Personally I just think she was super hammered.
3. When Corrine Got the Rose After the TERRIBLE Wedding Group Date
via GIPHY
Yeah. Lauren B. was essentially all of us when that rose was given out. WHY Nick, WHY?!!
"My dad would be proud...even if I took my top off." - Corrine,
of course.
4. The One On One with the Quiet Nurse Girl...
Ugh, ya she's like SUPS boring, no real personality, besides the fact that she's a nurse so she's clearly super sweet and stuff, but still boring. But hey! It doesn't matter what I think. Nick seems to think she's cute - he seems into it so its whatever. Like literally it's whatever.
via GIPHY
5. The Museum of Broken Relationships...?
HAHAHAHA. This segment of the show was GOLD.
SO, Nick takes what seems like the reject crowd to this museum of broken relationships which is like the most MIZ thing ever. And OF course right there in one of the sad, sad museum boxes is - GASP - a dying or super dead rose with the once-upon-a-time engagement ring that Nick sadly gave Kaitlyn. Aww. Lol SIKE.
BUT WAIT - it gets better! Then these crazy actors come out and start screaming at each other and guess what?? They tell the group daters that on this date...drum roll please...they get to PRETEND to break up with Nick!! LOLzzz. Was it world's most awkward/ hilarious thing to watch? Yes. Yes it was.
OH and one girl slaps him across the face...
via GIPHY
"I think that's the first time I've been slapped in the face."
- Nick lolz.
UMMM yeah, wow.
And just when you think things couldn't get any worse - LIZ THE DOULA steps in. Oy.
Yeah, betch steps in and gives Nick this mega deep apology and I gotta say, I don't think Nick liked it. Obviously, none of the girls knew what was going on but Liz was CLEARLY talking about the night she and Nick met at Jade and Tanner's wedding and supposedly slept together. BUT after Liz poured her heart to Nick (which wasn't a fake break up it was more of REAL ass talk that made Nick made super uncomfortable), literally all the girls were just silent and Nick literally had no idea what to do or say.
Basically it was SUPER AWKWARD and super hard to watch.
6. The Black Girl With Blonde Curls Admitted That She Likes Women...
Yeah so Nick talks to all the girls at the end of the group date and he sits down and talks to them about you know, life and marriage. Yada yada yada. And then the black girl with the blonde curls sits down and she starts out her conversation like:
"So, I used to date a girl..."
And Nick is likee, "OH! So, are we like competing?"
And then she's like, "I won't steal the one you want..."
OH.
via GIPHY
LOL. Okay good. Thank god. Glad's thats clear now. Like, it's no biggie.
7. When Nick Says BYE To Liz
Well basically, Nick kept it short and sweet and just broke up with the betch. He was a little freaked out by Liz's little wedding stunt and he just sent the girl and her terrible romper home. Hey, I'm just happy NOT to see that back tattoo again. UGH. WOOF.
via GIPHY
Yeah she def was NOT happy, lol.
Nick also decided to share the news with the girls left over that he did in fact have sex with Liz at Jade and Tanner's wedding. GASP. (Even though I'm pretty sure some of them they already knew or had figured that out...)
via GIPHY
But it seems like the girls were severely blown away by the news and it looks like that drama is 100% going to carry over to next to week LOL.
via GIPHY
Personally, I'm just worried about what Corrine is going to do and whether or not the girls in the house are going to suffer her jealously wrath. YIKES.
Oh Corrine. God bless her and her entertainment value.
via GIPHY
