Monday, November 27, 2017

Meghan and Harry Are Tying the ROYAL Knot!!!

FIVE Reasons WHY Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Engagement Is Literally THE BEST News EVER!



 AHHHHHH!!! I woke up at 5:30 AM this morning to the world's BEST news! Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are ENGAGED YALL!!!! What a momentous DAY!
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Prince Harry and Markle stand outside The Sunken Gardens at Kensington Palace for their engagement photo call. 
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am legit losing my shit and genuinely cannot contain my excitement about the official news. Like, everyone's engagements or weddings from now until whenever Harry and Meghan get married are just irrelevant. Sorry.
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Markle shows off her engagement ring made of diamonds owned by Harry's mother, Lady Diana Spencer. 
While the Kardashians are running around supposedly pregnant and sexual harassment scandal escalates in Hollywood (UGH) FINALLY there is some GOOD and HAPPY entertainment news!!!

 After a year and half of dating, Harry finally PUT A RING ON IT! The 33-year old, red headed Prince has officially proposed to 36-year old "Suits" actress, Meghan Markle. YEEEE!!
Kensington Palace released an official statement regarding the couple's engagement via the office of Prince Charles. In the formal announcement, Clarence House said that the fanciful couple became engaged earlier this month (YUP we knew they were just hiding it), and that Queen Elizabeth II has given the couple their blessing and consent to marry. The royal family also took to Twitter to express their excitement about the news.

The royal nuptials are scheduled to take place in Spring 2018, which to me means April since that's when William and Kate were married. And if NOT April, then like by June and def before July. The royal wedding turn-around is REAL ya'll.

 Once the newly royals are wed, they will officially seek residence in Nottingham Cottage on the Kensington Palace estate.

 So, today we're joining the world in celebrating exciting news while we all await the next big royal wedding. And in doing so - here are our five reasons why Prince Harry's impending marriage to Meghan is literally THE BEST NEWS EVER.

 God, I hope she wears Alexander McQueen...like Kate and well, Serena Williams. Lol.

REASONS


 1. THEY'RE SO IN LOVE 

 Like have you SEEN a more in love couple?! Though William and Kate shared a long-time admiration for each other that began during their collage days, Meghan and Harry's kinda random meeting and whirlwind romance reeeally makes you believe in (or want to believe in) head-over-heels romance. Like this is a whole new definition of waiting for prince.

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Prince Harry and Markle at their engagement photo call, Monday 27. 
2. MEGHAN IS AN AMERICAN MARRYING INTO THE ROYAL FAM

 That's right! Not only is this just a BIG deal for England it's also a BIG deal for the US as well because Meghan will be the FIRST American to casually, emphasis on casually, marry into the British royal family and become part of the monarchy. I meaaaan HELLO - THIS IS HISTORY PEOPLE.

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Markle and Prince Harry made their first official public appearance at the Invictus games this past September.
3. MEGAN IS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALE MARRYING INTO THE ROYAL FAM

 Meghan is literally the new definition of #BlackGirlMagic. The actress is bi-racial - her mother being African American and her father being Caucasian. Not only will Meghan make history as the first American to marry into the British royal family, she will also be the first AFRICAN AMERICAN just in the monarch like EVER. THAT'S FREAKING NUTS YALL. Meghan is basically Grace Kelly and Obama rolled into ONE and I can NOT deal with it because I love it SO MUCH.

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Markle photographed with her mother at the Invictus games on September, 30.
Literally CANNOT wait to see MAMA MARKLE in the wedding carriage with the QUEEN!! IT'S A BIG DEAL YALL.

Side note: If you actually didn't know that Meghan was half black theeen you need to READ THIS incredibly heart felt essay Markle wrote for Elle UK in 2015 about being bi-racial and what it means today.

 And if you want to know more about WHO Meghan is - READ THIS. Yes, I wrote it. LOL.

 4.  MEGHAN IS OLDER THAN HARRY 

 So, even though Meghan is only three years older than Harry - this is a serious wake up call for girls everywhere who are constantly worried about age when it comes to dating. So, take a tip from the newly engagement couple - AGE IS JUST A FREAKING NUMBER! And if you happen to be older than your Prince Charming - WHO CARES!

 5. THEIR FUTURE ROYAL BABIES 

 OMG. Don't even get me started on how BEAUTIFUL Megan and Harry's babies are gonna be. It's gonna be EPIC. UGH, I wish Diana was here for this. The fact that we can even say that there's going to be adorable racial ambitious babies in the royal family is just amazing. Like imagine little quarter black babies with Meghan's freckles and Harry's red hair running around the Kensington Palace grounds! I'M DEAD.

 And let's just be real, she's gonna be like an unreal mother.



Welp, that's all I have to say about all of that - FOR NOW. Until 6pm that is when the newly engaged couple will make their debut on the BBC for their royal wedding interview.

 STAY TUNNED!

 Until then, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking champ for the remainder of the day in honor of the newly engaged couple while trying to book my flight to England for next Spring. Who's coming with?!!!

 BEST. MONDAY. EVER.
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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Worst Dressed a la EMMYS


There was great fashion at the 2017 Emmys and some pretty TERRIBLE fashion. Per usual. I don't really have much to say about the MIZ dresses - OH WAIT - JK! Of course I do! So, here they are - all the dresses from the Emmys that I literally never want to see again.

Seriously, after writing this I went and stared at Jessica Biel's shimmery fairy tale dress of happiness for like half an hour to remind myself of what good fashion was...

Ladies and gents (but prob mostly ladies) - all the WORST fashion a la Emmys:


THE GOOD 

(as in the not totally MIZ but still kinda MIZ) 



Priyanka Chopra in Balmain

 Okay, so is this an UGLY dress? No. Does Priyanka, like face wise, look phenomenal? Yes. But, that's just science. This dress isn't ugly, Priyanka is GORGEOUS, but this whole dress looks like a bedazzled duvet cover...I'm sorry. It literally looks like a bedazzled duvet cover that kinda ripped at the bottom and the feathers are coming out. It also looks SO heavy and makes her look heavier than she is which is never good, and finally, it just looks HOT. I mean Sophia Vergara was walking around the red carpet with a mini fan - Priyanka MUST have been boiling!!  But I mean dress aside, her makeup, her hair looks amazing.  Like, she's totally working the duvet cover but it's not a great dress. AHH soorry PRI!!

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Mandy Moore in Carolina Herrera

 Ugh. This is another just unfortuante design situation because again - is this an ugly dress? No. Does Mandy look beautiful? YES. Her hair and make up are AMAZING. I LOVE the hot pink lip, like that just makes my day, but the dress, UGHH. As beautiful as Carolina Herrera dresses are, I just really, really wish this dress was ALL one color. Because the white strip in the middle, Mandy could either be compared to skunk or an Oreo. Idk which one is better? Maybe an Oreo because you can eat it? IDK! But the fabric of the dress is beautiful and they way it flows is great, which is why at the end of the day it isn't ugly, it just isn't great.

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 Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen

 This whole batch of celebs are suffering from a case of just bad design from great designers. Because for the THIRD time - is this dress totally ugly? Nooo. In fact, I think it's kind of cool, but Sarah unfortuantely had a tiny fashion malfunction where her black Spanx came through the top of the cut out of the dress. Yikes. Also, why are you wearing black Spanx?! Like wear nude!! DUH. Common sense. And then if you look really closely, you can also see her bra. I don't even blame Sarah though, I blame her stylist. But on the up side, her body looks UNREAL. So I mean, kudos to that.

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THE BAD


 Nina Kiri in Self Portrait

 Errrr. This look actually angers me. WHY? Because - WHY are you wearing a Self Portrait like garden party dress to the Emmys?!! WHYYY?! I legit don't get it. It's your first Emmys and you're trying to make a statement and then you show up in this?! A dress that honestly SO many people own or could own, its just SOO boring and so basic. Now, I love Self Portrait as a designer, but this is NOT an Emmy red carpet dress. At all. Just wrong time, wrong place. Like I would wear this to like a cocktail party or church. And if you are going to wear this dress on a carpet, don't wear the black and blue!! It's soooo boring ugh.

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Samantha Bee in Rubin Singer

 So, I really, really want to like this dress for the sake of Samantha Bee because SB is such a BOSS. I actually really appreciate the style of the dress - the 1940s vintage glam look, but the dress itself is just lack luster. Not to mention it's ill fitting on her body. There are places where it looks to big? And the shoulder area is taking OVER, like it's too much on her frame. I think this dress would have been a lot better if it was 1) sleeves and 2) just fit better.  Ugh, she really does look like she lives in the Emerald City and is married to the Wizard and that's just not the way to go. Unless you're Dorothy I guess, but like no.

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 Ajiona Alexus in Temraza

 Oy. Yeah, that's how I'm starting out about this one. So, this "dress" has been getting mixed reviews - it's on some people's best dressed and some people's like NOT best dressed. It's on my NOT best dressed because for the love of GOD there is TOO much going on! Like there's a huge flower one side, there's a sparkly train on the other, there's bell bottom pants, and the bodice is this pointed corset, I'm just like AHH STOP! WE GET IT. The whole ensemble is like trying SO hard to be different that it's just too much. I'm sorry. I hate it. But questionable jumpsuit aside, Aijona's face looks fabulous.

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 Gillian Anderson in Sophia Kah 

 Zzzzzz. WOAH, sorry was I sleeping? Yeah, this dress is just boring. I don't really have much to say about this. Oh, and it's just kinda a boring play on the velvet trend. It also doesn't fit her right and ill fitting dresses are automatically the WORST.  It kinda reminds me of a 80s/90s Christmas dress and it's just a snooze fest. BUT WAIT - when she turns around, there's a whole lace party going on in the back! Does that make the dress better? NOPE. Because now the dress just seems confused, and I'm confused too! The dress goes from Christmas in the front, to gothic Halloween in the back. Ugh. DO MORE Gillian. But not like as much as Aijona. Def do less than that. I am into her hair and makeup tho...

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Ariel Winter in Steven Khalil 

 Lalala. This dress is like, whatever. On "Fashion Police," they said this dress looks like a Vegas showgirl costume and I would have to agree with that. I feel like sometimes Ariel tries SO hard to be sexy? So, these double slits are just too high for me. She was def risking a possible fashion malfunction. But, I'm all for Ariel's like preaching to women about loving themselves and not caring what people think - I def agree, but I'm still judging your Emmy look cause it wasn't red carpet classy at all. It was more like Vegas red carpet outside of the club classy, which basically means not classy LOL.

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Guiliana Rancic in Monsoori 

I feel like the E! Entertainment lighting bolt is going to strike me for saying what I'm about to say about Giuliana's Emmy dress, but this is an example of when tulle goes bad. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE tulle. Like, if I could wear sequins and tulle everyday - I would. But, this tulle, not only looks like the cheap Halloween tulle from a witch costume, its TOO much of it. She literally looks like Ursula's daughter. And I really don't get what's going on with the sleeves? Like the sleeves look ripped, like someone just went up to her and ripped the sleeves right off. This dress isn't ugly, it's just well, BAD.

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THE UGLY ( aka the MIZ ) 


 Heidi Klum in Dundas by Peter Dundas

Welp, just like they say on 'Project Runway:' "One day you're in and the next day, you're out!" Well, unfortunately, in this outfit, the super model needs to take a cue from her own TV show slogan and she needs to mark herself as OUT. Now, Heidi herself looks great as always, but the dress with these oversized wooden bangles?! NO. Like her GIANT earrings look like sugar frosted donuts just hanging from her ears. It looks like she's going to the Coachella Awards if there was ever such thing. And the crazy thing is her jewelry is ALL Lorraine Schwartz, which apparently costs like more than a small home, but I don't care how much your jewelry is. If you're pairing donut earrings with a twisty, bright red sun dress, I'm still gonna say it looks AWFUL. Even if you are Heidi Klum. This was NOT a 'make it work' moment and I think Tim Gunn would not be pleased. He'd def be sending Heidi home to clean up her work space...lolz.

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Debra Messing in Romona Keveza

"Will & Grace" may be making a comeback, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I really never want to see this dress again. This is basically another version of Kate Winslet's trash bag dress (I love you Kate but that was your WORST fashion choice of all time), but in deep wine color. And it's not just the dress that's awful it's the whole look. The whole look is styled TERRIBLY. Like what is that paten belt on the dress, and why is she wearing crazy drop-down earrings that have specs of neon when she looks like and over-sized glass of red wine?! And lastly, one of the things that I have always loved about Debra Messing was her hair, but her hair looks like dead with this dress. The color of the dress just makes her hair look dull and it's also kinda "messy?" (No pun intended LOL). It was like she tried to do Jessica Biel's side swoop hair, but it didn't work. Idk it's all AWFUL. Sorry, Debs.

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 Ellie Kemper in Jenny Packham

 Ugh. This makes me sad. Because this is another sad example of when an embellished dress goes horribly wrong. I literally hate everything about this look. From far away the dress looks like she's wearing a navy slip with a sheer thing over it that has like a spider web of Michael's store gems and foil hot glued to it. And then on top of that, her hair style looks really gimmicky with the long, toy looking purple earrings. YUCK. And if you look closely, you can really see the slip underneath and it really does look like a night gown. I really hate to tear apart Ellie Kemper because she doe seem like the nicest and happiest person in the world, but I really, really hate this look. And that's putting it lightly.

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Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Armani Prive

This another sad one because I don't think I have ever put an Armani Prive gown on the worst dressed list ever. Like EVER. I love Armani Prive, in fact it is one of my favorite red carpet designers. Naomi Watts is the QUEEN of Prive and she always looks amazing in it on carpets, but this dress is not doing Prive any justice. Oy. Literally that one puffy sleeve reminds me of those big ass hair bows my mom used to stick on one side of my head in the 90s. And WHAT IS HER PURSE?! Her purse literally looks like the Super Bowl trophy. It's like a small, crystal football. And while a small, crystal football may look good with a different dress, her purse looks TOO much like her one puffy sleeve and I JUST CAN'T.

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Zuri Hall in Raisa & Vanessa

 Ahhh, Zuri. I said it once and I'll say it again, the E! Gods may smite me but, I really hate this dress. I also hate her hair, but Zuri continuing to wear different wigs is like another rant that I won't even get into right now. Her hair looks like the fringe of the dress, which I think she did on purpose,  but the dress literally looks like it engulfed her and then took over her hair in the process.  She's SO skinny and this dress makes her look even skinner because it looks so heavy. And what are those random "peek-a-boo" holes everywhere?! EEEK! Personally, I think this whole look is another bad example of an embellished dressed gone bad - it looks like curtains.  In Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O'Hara literally had no money, was like legit post Civil War plantation destitute, and she managed to make a STUNNING like spectacular dress out of curtains. Zuri's dress wishes it was like HALF as legit as Scarlett O'Hara's. LOL. Seriously, if I had to pick a hand made curtain dress, I'd still go with Scarlett's.

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END SCENE. LOL.


If you're eyes are currently blinded by this year's worst Emmy looks, calm them down by checking out this year's BEST looks HERE.


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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Best Dressed a la EMMYS!




Hello world! Yes, I came out of my post-Emmys coma just in time to still obsess about the Emmys red carpet fashion. And not only was it a brillant night for diversity - major congrats to Donald Glover, Lena Waithe, Ava Duverney, Riz Ahmed, and Sterling K. Brown - OH and it was also a BIG night for women - another congrats to ALL things "Big Little Lies" and "Handmaid's Tale" - it was also a great night for FASHUN.

Post Fashion Week in NY, all the celebs gathered back in Los Angeles for the beginning of the fall award season, and man did they BRING IT. Yeeee!

Top trends of the evening were plunge necklines, slicked back ponys and mane - basically hair away from the face was a major trend - simple accessories, a lot of bracelets and dangle earrings, and lastly, the colors red, silver and blush.

These three colors were seen so much, that I decided to break down the best dressed into these three color categories. It's not anal if it works. LOL. 

 Sooo here they are! The 2017 Best Dressed women a la Emmys: 



Red Hot Hotties 



 Nicole Kidman in Calvin Klein

 Like, literally no words...JK! I HAVE SO MANY WORDS. Duh. Not only was Nicole a "BIG" winner at the Emmys, she was a big winner on the carpet as well. To accept the award for Best Actress in Mini Series or Movie, Nicole wore a stunning custom CK tea-length gown with a built-in diamond necklace. The award winning actress paired the look with embellished pink CK heels. And everyone's like PINK and red?! And we're like YUP. Pink and red. And she ROCKED it. Hand clap emojis all the away around! Congrats Nic!

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 Yvonne Strahovski in custom Julien MacDonald 

In the "Handmaid's Tale," we're used to seeing Yvonne in blue, but if you were ever wondering what the tall blond looked like in Handmaid red, you got it! "Handmaid's" was no surprise, the big winner of the evening, winning Best Drama, but I'd like to give Yvonne my personal red carpet award for looking sexy AF in one of the most simple, yet elegant outfits of the night. Praise be ya'll.  #PraiseBe

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 Issa Rae in Vera Wang

Issa party, issa party. Where ma "Insecure" girls AT?! Issa told Giuliana on the E! red carpet that Vera Wang made this whimsical, yet sexy dress especially for her! Like how can you be insecure after hearing that?! The new Covergirl literally couldn't even deal and we couldn't either! CONGRATS ISSA WELCOME TO STARDOM.

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Viola Davis in Zac Posen

 Okay, okay before anyone says anything - I'm well aware that this dress is NOT red. LOL. BUT, can we take a second to just admire how AHMAZING Viola looks in this custom ZP number. Like, FLAWLESS. And no, I'm not colorblind. I realize this dress is orange, but orange is totally in the red family, so we're going to go ahead just say it's red because Viola in this dress was truly one of the best fashion moments of the night.

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Silver Sequin Sirens 
Tracee Ellis Ross in Chanel Haute Couture

 So, there was a lot of debate about this dress because there is a lot going on. 1) It's Chanel 2) It's sequined 3) There's feathers and 4) There's a belt. WOAH. Okay, so yeah there's a lot going on. And I agree with the E! Fashion Police crowd who said that maybe this look was a tad over styled, BUT when you look at Tracee in this dress OFF the red carpet - it literally glows. Like, she looks like some heavenly sequin angle and I'm ALL for it. Back away sequin haters!

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Sarah Paulson in Carolina Herrera

 OMG!!! Sooo no big deal or anything but I literally just saw this dress walk down the Carolina Herrera runway at Fashion Week last week in NYC and Sarah is that much of a boss, that she just literally took the dress straight from the runway and put it on her bod. Can we say QUEEN?! I love Sarah and I love this dress. It's super retro, totally 80s and I love it. Plus the back is "outta sight!" Oh, wait that's a 70s expression. It's "totally awesome!" BOOM.

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 Amanda Crew in Michael Cinco

 So, if we're being super honest, I had no idea who Amanda Crew was until she stepped onto the red carpet in this dress. I also really didn't know Michael Cinco as a designer, I gotta tell ya, now I'll be looking out for more Michael Cinco gowns on carpets because this sheer and beaded ombre number is just FAB. I love it so much. If your not one of the A-list celebs on the red carpet, but you want to get noticed - this is how you do it.

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Madeline Brewer in Berta

 In the "Handmaid's Tale" Madeline's character had somewhat of a rough time, you know with the one eye and all, but she used the Emmy carpet to show UP everyone who was, well only used to seeing her with one eye lol. Make all the jokes you want but Madeline walked the carpet in this sparkly mermaid number and I was likeee PRAISE BE! It's like a sexy Cinderella gown and I'm SO into it!

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Uzo Aduba in Sally LePointe

Hello Uzo! So much of this outfit gave me LIFE. First off, Uzo wins with the natural hair goals. Like her hair is FAB and then the dress fits her body perfectly. The beaded corset bodice is made to a tea and I love how the dress isn't over the top sparkly. I mean, of course I'm always down for over the to sparkles, but the way this is beaded is just flawless.

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Anna Chumlusky in Sachin & Babi

 Wow. Just Wooow. Okay, so if we're being honest, Anna has a bad red carpet rep. I mean, she normally just wears kinda blah dresses but THIS, this is the way to stepped all over her former red carpet rep because this dress makes up for all her past looks. There's all over sequin gowns like Tracee and Sarah's, but then there's MIRROR sequin gowns that are SUPER reflective and this is probably one of the best mirrored gowns I've seen on the carpet in awhile. Like if she could look at herself through this gown I'm sure she would. It's just EPIC.

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Laverne Cox in Naeem Khan

 WORK IT GURL! I feel like that is honestly the most appropriate response to anything sexy Laverne Cox wears. If this dress wasn't made for her body, then I don't know what is. And not only is the dress so perfect, her hair and makeup is just BEYOND. She looks unreal. She normally always looks unreal, but this was def a red carpet high for her. Well done.

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 Gugu Mbatha - Raw in Hugo Boss

 If you don't know Gugu - get to know Gugu. Not only is she like the prettiest person EVER, like I love her, she is a rising star in Hollywood who ended up having a great Emmy night when her show, "Black Mirror" won the Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series. And again, I'm not color blind and I realize that this dress is not silver, but it's sequined and metallic and I LOVE IT. The neon green lining with the iridescent pearl sequins on top - UGH I'M DEAD. If I could actually wear any dress from the evening it'd be this one.

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Beautiful Blush Babes 


 Jessica Biel in Ralph & Russo

 Okay. Again, I'm left somewhat speechless. If we're being honest, I may or may  not have cried when I first say Jessica Biel walk onto the carpet in this dress. Like, HOLY HOLY!! This is probably going down as one of my ALL TIME FAV red carpet looks - and it's not even the Oscars!! JESSICA!!!! I don't know what she was trying to do to us, but I literally DIED and then came back to life and when I came back to life, I too was wearing this dress. LOL. But, actually there is nothing and I mean NOTHING wrong with this look. The styling is PERFECT, her hair is just AMAZE her makeup is like "oh I'm sorry, I'm Jessica Biel and I tried to scare the living shit out of you in the "Sinner" but look how airy and whimsical I actually am in IRL." And we thought Paris Hilton and Kendall Jenner knew how to rock chainmail? NAH. If y'all need me I'll still be dead on the floor...
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Thandie Newton in Jason Wu

 And JUST when I thought I'd get up off the floor - Thandie walked into the room and then I just died AGAIN. Oh man. Thandie is not only probably one of the prettiest people on this EARTH, literally, but when she wears something like this - I have to just take a second and pinch myself and remember how lucky I am to be on the same earth as this glitter and tulle clad goddess. I can't decide if I'd rather be reincarnated as Thandie or Jessica Biel, but both these blush gowns just made me reeeaally want a blush wedding gown and like to be either of them in a other life.

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Yara Shahidi in Prada

 YARA. Queen Yara. Let me tell y'all, the "Blackish" cast really knows how to rock a red carpet. But there really hasn't been a red carpet look that Yara has worn that isn't fabulous. She SLAYS all day like every day. AND she's only 17!! Yup. I'll give you some time to let you take that in. She's basically the new Zendaya and Zendaya is only likee three years older than her! So, you can also let that sink in.

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Kiernan Shipka in Mui Mui 

 Y'all, these kids are gonna take over Hollywood. From Millie Bobby Brown to her "Stranger Things" brothers, kids were literally rocking the shit out of the Emmy red carpet and most of them looked better than a lot of the red carpet vets. Now, Kirenan, who is also 17 (lolz) is another red carpet kid who always looks phenomenal on the red carpet. And this fun, tulle and bejeweled Mui Mui is no diff. Ugh, both Yara and Kiernan reeeally make me want to be 17 again. Am I right?!

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Bosses in Black 


 Claire Foy in Oscar de la Renta

 The Queen is HERE! Everybody bow down and start talking in your British accents as we acknowledge her royal highness and her fabulous jumpsuit. YES, take a second - YUP it's a jumpsuit. The queen is wearing a jumpsuit and I love it. Be more elegant Claire I dare you!

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 Leslie Jones in Christian Siriano

 Even though Leslie Jones lost the Emmy to her good friend and co-star, Kate McKinnon, Jones was another red carpet winner in this custom beaded CS gown. Now we ALL know that Leslie Jones loves her boy Christian. In fact, during fashion week, Leslie sat front row and his show and turned the the normally stuffy runway show into a party. We're like super pumped for Leslie and her new fashion friend because this was seriously the best she's ever looked on a carpet. Bravo Christian!

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 Zoe Kravitz in Dior

 Zoe in a rainbow dress was only fitting seeing that she always brings happiness to the red carpet. Now, I won't lie, at first glance - I kinda thought this dress looked like a pinata...HAHA. Like legit. But, then after taking it in some more, I became a serious fan. The fit is just perfect and the ever changing rainbow hues from the front of the dress to the back are just so lovely. This dress is couture for a reason and I feel like if anyone else had to tried to rock this dress, they wouldn't have made it work they way Zoe did.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Bachelorette Final Aftermath

Who's Gonna Be Da Next BACHELOR?!


Peter? Dean?? Wells?!! 

I don't know about you but I'm HERE for any of these...





On Monday night, America watched as the network's first black Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay, made the decision to give Bryan her final rose over ugh, Peter.


A post shared by The Bachelorette (@bacheloretteabc) on


And while Bryan may be hot and is probs latin fire in bed LOL, there was a def a large, overall general consciences - were taking serious popular vote for salt and pepper Peter. Like, Rachel was supposed to choose Peter and the two were supposed to get married and have beautiful gap-toothed, bi racial babies and change the WORLD! UGHHHH.



via GIPHY


But judging by how a lot of things have turned out this year...

 The Election...womp. 

 The Superbowl...womp, womp. 

 And now Bryan...WOMP. 

 Guess we shouldn't have been that surprised? IDK!!!
But looking back on their last date?! OMFGGGG. Like, that was probably the realist breakup The Bachelor franchise has ever played out. Bachelor Nation could NOT handle their shit and neither could we. That break up was real AF. Like, they "broke up" but THEY COULDN'T STOP KISSING. And then Peter had to pull is freaking sweater off and use it as a hanky because he was crying so much!! Like HOW?!! This was some serious Titanic level, Jack telling Rose NOT to let go SHIT. It was THAT serious and THAT emotional UGH. WE ARE DRAINNNED. 




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 Also where is the man that cries that much over me? Just a thought. 



Anyway, I think it's fair to say that we're still not okay, America still isn't okay, and though Rachel chose Bryan and seems totally okay - watching THAT breakup would make me NOT OKAY if I was Bryan. Just saying.


#SAME.


And then during the Final Rose talk with Chris Harrison, Peter and Rach could BARELY look at each other it was SOO awkward like THAT'S REAL BREAK UP LOVEEE HATE!!  Lol, we've all been there, you know, when your pissed at your ex so you try to supress your anger and you like "Nahh, I'm good now." That's basically what Rachel did. The emotion is soooo reaaaal it's beautiful. Lol. Like, we can all agree that Rachel and Peter's break up was probably the most difficult Final Rose/ Bach breakup we've ever watched. Like EVER. It was real AF. Seriously, #SMH (and I never say that).




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 Literally ALL of US during Rachel and Peter's break up...


But I guess, gotta be happy that Rachel is happy. Despite the like hurricane force winds during Bryan's proposal, which I'm pretty sure was the universe being like NAH. Literally, the wind was out of control. I'd like to think it was tropical storm Peter trying to ruin the day...



via GIPHY

HAHAHA. Again, SAME. 


But because we love Rachel so much we're just hoping that Bryan and Rachel do work out and they don't end up like Andi and Josh - aka an all lust and no real love, six months tops relationship. Ugh.


Oy. This finale was a lot. And honestly, the only highlight of the finale for me was Rachel's dress. It was BOMB. Prob the best finale dress of all the Bachelorette seasons. Loved it.  Girl knows how to rock the sequin slit situation. So, AMEN to that at least. 






via GIPHY

YAAASSS. 


Annnywaaay, Rachel has chosen marking the end to another season of The Bachelorette, and with Paradise along the beachy horizon - we can't help but wonder: WHO'S GONNA BE DA NEXT BACH?!


So, with our super thorough years of Bachelor obsessing and over analyzing - we're gonna break down who is possibly in line to hand out of the roses on the next season of The Bachelor.


Next Bach Possibilities



 PETER


So, now that we know Peter is def still single and back home, most of us were thinking that Peter would most likely become the next Bach since he has already won the country's heart right? Well, that remains to be seen. I was all down for Peter to become the next Bach, but the more I think about it, the more I don't like the idea of 25 girls sucking face with Peter unless one of those 25 girls is me. HAHA. Call me crazy, but you're thinking the EXACT same thing. We ALL want Peter to ourselves. Slash, even if he did do the show, he'd kinda be a huge hypocrite since he said he wasn't ready to propose to Rach after what was essentially "three dates." This meaning he shouldn't be ready to do the whole Bach thing again anytime soon. So, in the mean time, who else is booking a trip to Wisconsin? Show of hands. 

DEAN

A post shared by Dean Unglert 🌹 (@deanie_babies) on

On the Monday night finale of The Bachelorette, they didn't announce who the next Bachelor was going to be WHY? Well, because they're going to wait to see what guy comes out on top aka the fan favorite dude from Paradise...kinda like they did with Nick Viall last year, even though, I think it's safe to safe that Nick being the Bach back fired on ALL of us LOL. But one person who could come out of paradise single and ready to mingle on the Bach could be Dean. Now, even though Dean already told E! that he didn't think he was ready to be the next Bachelor (cause he's super young and actually doesn't like all the attention), Paradise may change his mind. Especially, if he doesn't find anyone. Low key praying he doesn't. Okay, not even low key like LEGIT praying he doesn't. Again, want him to myself. 

A post shared by Dean Unglert 🌹 (@deanie_babies) on

LOL. Love him. Likeeee dead. (And he apparently photoshopped WHABOOM out of this pic also, so we just love him even more.)
ERIC



So, during Rachel's season, Eric was a little immature. Like, even though he was 28 or 29, I literally thought of him as a high school kid on the varsity football team? Or JK basketball. Anyway, point is - the boy was DEF not ready to marry Rachel. He needs to date more and mature a little bit BUT, when Eric came out to meet Rachel on The Final Rose, he looked ten times more mature with his new #revengebeard and shit. Not to mention, he took the split with Rachel like SUPER well. It was really cute. Lookinn good boiii. 


No word if he'll show up on Paradise, but if he does or even doesn't, he would maybe be a good Bach. That is, if America can even handle two black Bachelor shows back to back LOL. But even if American isn't ready, Donnie Wahlberg is. And to me, this says a lot.



ALEX  

I feel like people forget about Alex. Personally, I always thought he was hot. Like kind of a meat head and wasn't super into the man bun BUT he has a great face...and okay, actually, really great hair. Alex made it pretty far in Rachel's season and when asked on Good Morning America, who they thought would make the best Bachelor for the next season, Rachel and Bryan actually said Alex. GAME CHANGER.

 Plus Alex is good friends with Dean soo I'm into it.



 WELLS 


OMGGG! Everyone's favorite Nashville radio host from Jojo's season is BACK! And by back I mean, from previews, it looks like Wells will be returning to Paradise for more drama this season. Woot woot! And while, it'd be nice if Wells like "found love" in what I believe Rihanna truly meant as a the definition of a hopeless place LOL, if he comes out of this thang single, I think there is a good chance that Wells could be the next Bach because I mean who doesn't Wells?! I'll be a Wells lover 'til then end that's for sure. I mean if not Luke, then DEF Wells.




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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

DA BACHELORETTE IS BACK!!

The BEST and the most CRINGE-worthy Moments from The Bachelorette Premiere 



Like Bachelorette contestant Dean so kindly reminded us last night - "once you go black you don't go back" (LOL womp womp for Dean, who originally got a lot of social media backlash for that comment).  But after being re-introduced to Rachel's fabulousness on Monday night's premiere of The Bachelorette, it may be safe to say that America def feels the same way.

 The 31 (some debatable) contestants aside, Rachel is just PERFECT. Like, I'm also trying to date her. 

 I mean she's smart, she's hot, she's mature, she can play basketball...



She's got a great since of Bachelorette premiere dresses...


BUT despite her fab Rachelness, we're still questioning some of the decisions she made on the highly anticipated Bach premiere last night.

 There were some great moments and some hot guys, and some not so great moments and some not so hot guys. But luckily for you, I'm here to break it all down so you don't have too! So, let's take a look at some of the BEST and the well, most of the MIZ moments from last night's Bachelorette premiere.

DA GURLS

1. Rachel's Squad



If you didn't know, now you know that Rachel has a pretty aggressive Bach squad rooting for her. Several of Rachel's besties from last season including dolphin obsessed Alexis, Bachelor finalist Raven, and the controversial, Corinne. The ladies sat down last night to give Rach some Bachelorette advice even though we're pretty convinced every single on of these ladies is heading to Paradise... and prob won't be a Bachelorette LOL. But hey! They're still fun right?



DA NORMAL BOYZ


1. PETER

I don't know about you but I am so HERE FOR PETER. Why?! Because not only was he the first one out of the limo and one of the few guys not to do anything weird and crazy, he looks SO good in a suit AND he's basically the white version of Rachel with his swag gap tooth smile LOL. Basically, I'm so here for Peter and Rachel and their future interracial, gap-toothed babies. Aren't you?!!

2. BYRAN 



Well, I want to say "ooo la la" but I guess the correct phrase for Bryan and his Latin American self would be "aye, ye, ye!" I don't know about you, but I've always had a thing Latin men, I mean who doesn't? They're romantic, they can dance, they speak Spanish to you when they get out of the limo LOL.



Rachel was totally feeling his Latin flavaaa especially when the chiropractor said he was uhmm good with his hands....but hot Latiness aside, I think we all agree that Bryan's kissing was likeee a little TOO MUCH. Yuck.

3. JOSIAH



Ugh, take about a heart-wrenching life story. If you don't recall, this is the guy whose brother hung himself when he was little, so damaged by that at a super young age, he got into a lot of trouble and started committing crimes, until one lawyer dude decided to give him a chance and BOOM he inspired him and now Josiah is a lawyer. UGH AMAZING.



I mean I was totally rooting for this guy, cause he initially seemed pretty sweet, but later on in the night he got a little cocky and that's never cute. Like BE HUMBLE!!

4. KENNY



 So, when I first saw Kenny, you know the aggressive wrestler guy with the 13-year-old daughter, I was like OKAY nahh. Not feeling it. I also thought he was gonna body slam Rachel down to the ground when he got out of the limo LOL. BUT after they're little chat inside, he seems SUPER sweet AND he's freaking HILARIOUS. Rooting for him to stay for a bit.





5. ERIC

This guy. SO, I think this guy is such a cutie. The 29-year-old personal trainer is def a hottie, but the odd thing about him is that he looks SO young!! Like he kinda looks like he just walked off the high school football field? But at the same time he's like really tall, so it's a tad confusing. I'm def thinking he's gonna last for a while though...




DA EXTRA BOYZ



1. The penis guy who plays the drums 


SO, can we talk about how NO ONE is talking about how Blake E., yes walked in as the "aspiring drummer" with a full marching band, BUT he was also the guy with the intro video that was all about how he like loves the gym, loves to have sex, and LOVES HIS PENIS?!! NOT CASUAL. Needless to say, the jury is still out on him.



2. The tickle monster 


OH BOY. So, tickling a girl without her permission is one thing, but the fact that the so called "tickle monster" is actually a doctor who would rather be called the "tickle monster" on national TV is another thing. I don't know what is more concerning...

3. The guy who came dressed as a penguin



Apparently Rachel has a thing for penguin's but like something tells me this guy is better suited for Bachelor dolphin lover, Alexis Waters.

4. Adam and his creepy voodoo doll??



I LITERALLY HAVE ZERO WORDS. And I have another negative zero words for the fact that he was given a rose last night. Like, COME ON Rach!!


Also why his creepy little Adam Jr doll aka "AJ," FRENCH?!!!! Like he had subtitles!! AHHHH! I just CANNOT.

5. WHAABOOM



Last but not least, #WHABOOM. Good God. So this is what happened when Lucas aka "Whaboom" stepped out of the limo...



THEN #WHABOOM walks into the mansion and after terrifying Rachel outside of the house, he proceeds to terrify all the guys inside the house...



It's fair to say that Diggy was all of us when we relized that #WAHBOOM was more than just a catch phrase, it's an actual terrifying human being.


THENN #WHABOOM brought the megaphone (which is had already used from the limo to talk about his lopsided testicles...EW), and we were all like...



AND THEN when #WHABOOM ended up getting a rose and we were ALL likee...



Jesus Christ.



But in addition to Whaboom getting a rose, Rach also gave a rose both IGGY and DIGGY?!! But like NOT too hottie half Asian Blake K.?!!!



At least now there's a serious social media movement to get Blake K to Paradise... 






So, I say that's a win win.


After The Bachelorette aired on ABC last night, talk show host and Bachelor super-fan, Jimmy Kimmel picked his top three finalists and the winner for this season which he believes to be personal trainer Eric, Latin Bryan, and the winner to be PETERRRR. DUH.



Can't say that I don't fully agree with Jimmy's picks. Welp, LET RACHEL'S SEASON COMMENCE with a #WHABOOM!! LOLOL

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