Several sequin dresses, two black girls who look EXACTLY alike, and one CRAZY betch named Lace - here's our RECAP of last night's BACH premiere...
 |
| photo via |
Well last night was the beginning of what looks likes another drama filled season of The Bachelor and can I just say, seeing clips of Ben crying was likeeee so miz. Poor guy, has to find the gem in this batch of crazy betches.
It's so funny too because while watching the show I feel like ALL these girls are so much older than me but then I realizes OH wait they're my age...and I - for the life of me - can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing.
Anyway, back to BEN. I actually forgot Ben is only 26, and when I was watching it seemed like Ben is either recently out of college or 18...lol. He's SUCH a nug he seems so young and these girls...well, they're interesting. And we're talking the-way-Ben-felt-after-meeting-that-girl-with-the-giant-rose-on-her-head interesting. EW.
So let's jump right into the madness sha'll we? Yes, let's.
First up...
THE CRAZY LIMO ENTRANCES
Here are some of the most ridiculous, bizarre, "WHY would you even do that?!" moments from the girls exiting the limo and meeting Ben for the first time...YIKES. I call this segment: "The girl with the..." you know...like Friends episode titles? Clever, I know.
1. The girl with the football.
That HIKE in the sequin and mesh dress?! OH MY GOD. I'm also pretty sure her dress ripped...so that's good. Then of course she ended with: "I knew you'd be a great catch." LOL oookay BYE.
2. The girl with the accent (who we later find out is Russian and did not speak ONE world of English...WHAT?!)
All I have to say is Ben was like totally confused and after meeting her he admitted that he may be loosing his mind LOL I mean, prob...
3. The girl with a unicorn head.
Need I say more?
4. The girl with the OLD wedding boutique.
Lauren brings the shady wedding boutique that she apparently caught at a recent wedding and presented it to Ben and THAT my friends was SO awkward. How LONG did she save that thing?!! Ew.
5. The girl with the horse.
Literally giving every girl in Texas a bad name.
6. The girl with the GIANT rose.
I mean, Mandy, the dentist is hands down the weirdest girl like ever. But she's totally cool with that. I wonder how heavy that rose was?
7. The girl with the onesie.
I mean a pun isn't a pick up line, so maybe you should have just worn a dress?
THE BEST GIRLS
OLIVIA
Even though she's 23 and is essentially the basic blonde, pretty sure Ben is smitten by Olivia like he was literally falling into her eyes and def had NO idea what she was saying when she was speaking. Ahh the classic blue-eyed daze. And after they met it was like SOO OBV that she was gonna get the first impression rose the second I saw her slash she's probably going to be one of the final girls let's be real. Calling it now.
Note to other weirdo Bach girls: Just be NORMAL when coming out of the limo instead of doing something weird and then you MAY also get the first impression rose too! LOL. But actually...
CAILA
I thought Kaila was SOO cute until she basically said she broke up with her boyfriend cause she got butterflies watching Ben on TV... and then when she met Ben she literally jumped into his arms and I was like ehhhh maybe not. BUT, she does seem pretty sweet, she's super smiley which is not my style, but from the looks of the season promo...she's def gonna last awhile. So, haters gonna hate.
BECCA and AMBER
Besides the fact that Amber looks EXACLY like the Canadian black girl who is also on this season...
Becca and Amber are not only both pretty, but they're like NORMAL, even though they both had on awful black dresses last night. Like awful. But, that's what true beauty is...you don't gotta dress it up! LOL. I think Becca, despite her virginity, will totally make it far and we'll see about Amber but they are the best.
THE WORST (aka MIZEST) GIRLS
LACE
I mean, I know we all really want to get rid of this phrase but this is someone who I truly CAN'T EVEN with. She legit seems like a demon LOL, I'm a little nervous about her. She's already so freaking aggressive and crazyyy, like who says they think they're the prettiest one?!! That's soo miz.
She also didn't seem too happy when cute little Ben explained how he wanted to get to know people before randomly making out with them and I meannnn THATS NORMAL. Jesus. Buuuut of course, the poor girl was hammered and could only say "Ben found me" and "I'm Lace." UGH. Miz city. AND THEN SHE GOT A ROSE...WHAT BEN?! But, after her little fit she threw when the rose ceremony was over, I think Ben was re-thinking the CLEAR mistake he had just made...
MANDY
Ahhh yes, the girl who loves to "embrace the weird." Well, Mandy is def the weirdest of the weird, but she has a legit job...she's a dentist. OOOO. So, not only did she show up to the house with a massive rose on her head, she also performed a little tooth check on Ben and came to the conclusion that he "may need to floss more." Likee OH. Not really sure how long this one is gonna last.
 |
| photo via |
SIDE NOTE: Ben legit sent home four really pretty NORMAL girls last night to keep crazy Mandy, the Russian girl, and Lace, like NO. Keeping these women is what I like to call a clear producer decision...
 |
| Like this girl was CUUTEE?!! And she's GONE. Ugh. |
I also confuse The 25 year-old esthetician for a 30 year-old because she has already been married and divorced and has two kids, which she basically had when she was 20 soo that's cool.
THE TWINS
So, I don't care how pretty people think the twins are, there's just one slight issue with them, THEY ARE NOT ONE PERSON!! THEY'RE TWO PEOPLE!! So, I am sorry, but we all know what's going happen here. They are going to begin some internal competition between each other and Ben is either going to have to choose ONE or NONE. And that's gonna be annoying and dramatic which was also displayed in the season promo...not looking forward to that. Hope he gets rid of both to just avoid that drama. But talk about a GREAT two on one date?!!!
THE RUSSIAN GIRL
I am not even going to try to spell her name because I still can't decide if this is a joke or not. Because if she speaks English theeeen wouldn't she have done so already?!! I don't get it...
BEST QUOTES
Just some of the most epic things that were said in last night's episode and I canNOT wait for more!
Lace: "I mean who wants a f*cking virgin anyways." YIKES DRAMA obv.
Chicken enthusiast: "I haven't been away from my chickens for the more than ten days."
NO COMMENT. OH wait just one: she maybe should have been on Chris' season if she loves chickens slash the farm so much?
Mandy: "Maybe if things go right you can pollinate it later..." (she's talking about the giant rose, ew)
Ben: "Can I call you red velvet?" LOL
Laura AKA red velvet: "I was hoping there would be at least one ugly girl and there is not one ugly person..."
HA I loved red velvet. She's hilarious. I really just wanted her to stick around for her amazing side comments. Can she come back?
The twins: "I mean we never date the same guy..." REALLY?! No SHIZ! I can't with the twins.
Lace: "You didn't even look at me ONCE!" (girl is crazy)
Mandy: "If were gonna make out, you have to floss." (I mean, obv)
Aww man, so many girls, so little time. Hope everyone has their brackets ready!! Let the games begin! GO BEN! Ooor run Ben...
Yeah, we're rooting for ya Benny.
