There was great fashion at the 2017 Emmys and some pretty TERRIBLE fashion. Per usual. I don't really have much to say about the MIZ dresses - OH WAIT - JK! Of course I do! So, here they are - all the dresses from the Emmys that I literally never want to see again.
Seriously, after writing this I went and stared at Jessica Biel's shimmery fairy tale dress of happiness for like half an hour to remind myself of what good fashion was...
Ladies and gents (but prob mostly ladies) - all the WORST fashion a la Emmys:
THE GOOD
(as in the not totally MIZ but still kinda MIZ)
Priyanka Chopra in Balmain
Okay, so is this an UGLY dress? No. Does Priyanka, like face wise, look phenomenal? Yes. But, that's just science. This dress isn't ugly, Priyanka is GORGEOUS, but this whole dress looks like a bedazzled duvet cover...I'm sorry. It literally looks like a bedazzled duvet cover that kinda ripped at the bottom and the feathers are coming out. It also looks SO heavy and makes her look heavier than she is which is never good, and finally, it just looks HOT. I mean Sophia Vergara was walking around the red carpet with a mini fan - Priyanka MUST have been boiling!! But I mean dress aside, her makeup, her hair looks amazing. Like, she's totally working the duvet cover but it's not a great dress. AHH soorry PRI!!
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Mandy Moore in Carolina Herrera
Ugh. This is another just unfortuante design situation because again - is this an ugly dress? No. Does Mandy look beautiful? YES. Her hair and make up are AMAZING. I LOVE the hot pink lip, like that just makes my day, but the dress, UGHH. As beautiful as Carolina Herrera dresses are, I just really, really wish this dress was ALL one color. Because the white strip in the middle, Mandy could either be compared to skunk or an Oreo. Idk which one is better? Maybe an Oreo because you can eat it? IDK! But the fabric of the dress is beautiful and they way it flows is great, which is why at the end of the day it isn't ugly, it just isn't great.
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Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen
This whole batch of celebs are suffering from a case of just bad design from great designers. Because for the THIRD time - is this dress totally ugly? Nooo. In fact, I think it's kind of cool, but Sarah unfortuantely had a tiny fashion malfunction where her black Spanx came through the top of the cut out of the dress. Yikes. Also, why are you wearing black Spanx?! Like wear nude!! DUH. Common sense. And then if you look really closely, you can also see her bra. I don't even blame Sarah though, I blame her stylist. But on the up side, her body looks UNREAL. So I mean, kudos to that.
THE BAD
Nina Kiri in Self Portrait
Errrr. This look actually angers me. WHY? Because - WHY are you wearing a Self Portrait like garden party dress to the Emmys?!! WHYYY?! I legit don't get it. It's your first Emmys and you're trying to make a statement and then you show up in this?! A dress that honestly SO many people own or could own, its just SOO boring and so basic. Now, I love Self Portrait as a designer, but this is NOT an Emmy red carpet dress. At all. Just wrong time, wrong place. Like I would wear this to like a cocktail party or church. And if you are going to wear this dress on a carpet, don't wear the black and blue!! It's soooo boring ugh.
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Samantha Bee in Rubin Singer
So, I really, really want to like this dress for the sake of Samantha Bee because SB is such a BOSS. I actually really appreciate the style of the dress - the 1940s vintage glam look, but the dress itself is just lack luster. Not to mention it's ill fitting on her body. There are places where it looks to big? And the shoulder area is taking OVER, like it's too much on her frame. I think this dress would have been a lot better if it was 1) sleeves and 2) just fit better. Ugh, she really does look like she lives in the Emerald City and is married to the Wizard and that's just not the way to go. Unless you're Dorothy I guess, but like no.
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Ajiona Alexus in Temraza
Oy. Yeah, that's how I'm starting out about this one. So, this "dress" has been getting mixed reviews - it's on some people's best dressed and some people's like NOT best dressed. It's on my NOT best dressed because for the love of GOD there is TOO much going on! Like there's a huge flower one side, there's a sparkly train on the other, there's bell bottom pants, and the bodice is this pointed corset, I'm just like AHH STOP! WE GET IT. The whole ensemble is like trying SO hard to be different that it's just too much. I'm sorry. I hate it. But questionable jumpsuit aside, Aijona's face looks fabulous.
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Gillian Anderson in Sophia Kah
Zzzzzz. WOAH, sorry was I sleeping? Yeah, this dress is just boring. I don't really have much to say about this. Oh, and it's just kinda a boring play on the velvet trend. It also doesn't fit her right and ill fitting dresses are automatically the WORST. It kinda reminds me of a 80s/90s Christmas dress and it's just a snooze fest. BUT WAIT - when she turns around, there's a whole lace party going on in the back! Does that make the dress better? NOPE. Because now the dress just seems confused, and I'm confused too! The dress goes from Christmas in the front, to gothic Halloween in the back. Ugh. DO MORE Gillian. But not like as much as Aijona. Def do less than that. I am into her hair and makeup tho...
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Ariel Winter in Steven Khalil
Lalala. This dress is like, whatever. On "Fashion Police," they said this dress looks like a Vegas showgirl costume and I would have to agree with that. I feel like sometimes Ariel tries SO hard to be sexy? So, these double slits are just too high for me. She was def risking a possible fashion malfunction. But, I'm all for Ariel's like preaching to women about loving themselves and not caring what people think - I def agree, but I'm still judging your Emmy look cause it wasn't red carpet classy at all. It was more like Vegas red carpet outside of the club classy, which basically means not classy LOL.
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Guiliana Rancic in Monsoori
I feel like the E! Entertainment lighting bolt is going to strike me for saying what I'm about to say about Giuliana's Emmy dress, but this is an example of when tulle goes bad. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE tulle. Like, if I could wear sequins and tulle everyday - I would. But, this tulle, not only looks like the cheap Halloween tulle from a witch costume, its TOO much of it. She literally looks like Ursula's daughter. And I really don't get what's going on with the sleeves? Like the sleeves look ripped, like someone just went up to her and ripped the sleeves right off. This dress isn't ugly, it's just well, BAD.
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THE UGLY ( aka the MIZ )
Heidi Klum in Dundas by Peter Dundas
Welp, just like they say on 'Project Runway:' "One day you're in and the next day, you're out!" Well, unfortunately, in this outfit, the super model needs to take a cue from her own TV show slogan and she needs to mark herself as OUT. Now, Heidi herself looks great as always, but the dress with these oversized wooden bangles?! NO. Like her GIANT earrings look like sugar frosted donuts just hanging from her ears. It looks like she's going to the Coachella Awards if there was ever such thing. And the crazy thing is her jewelry is ALL Lorraine Schwartz, which apparently costs like more than a small home, but I don't care how much your jewelry is. If you're pairing donut earrings with a twisty, bright red sun dress, I'm still gonna say it looks AWFUL. Even if you are Heidi Klum. This was NOT a 'make it work' moment and I think Tim Gunn would not be pleased. He'd def be sending Heidi home to clean up her work space...lolz.
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Debra Messing in Romona Keveza
"Will & Grace" may be making a comeback, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I really never want to see this dress again. This is basically another version of Kate Winslet's trash bag dress (I love you Kate but that was your WORST fashion choice of all time), but in deep wine color. And it's not just the dress that's awful it's the whole look. The whole look is styled TERRIBLY. Like what is that paten belt on the dress, and why is she wearing crazy drop-down earrings that have specs of neon when she looks like and over-sized glass of red wine?! And lastly, one of the things that I have always loved about Debra Messing was her hair, but her hair looks like dead with this dress. The color of the dress just makes her hair look dull and it's also kinda "messy?" (No pun intended LOL). It was like she tried to do Jessica Biel's side swoop hair, but it didn't work. Idk it's all AWFUL. Sorry, Debs.
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Ellie Kemper in Jenny Packham
Ugh. This makes me sad. Because this is another sad example of when an embellished dress goes horribly wrong. I literally hate everything about this look. From far away the dress looks like she's wearing a navy slip with a sheer thing over it that has like a spider web of Michael's store gems and foil hot glued to it. And then on top of that, her hair style looks really gimmicky with the long, toy looking purple earrings. YUCK. And if you look closely, you can really see the slip underneath and it really does look like a night gown. I really hate to tear apart Ellie Kemper because she doe seem like the nicest and happiest person in the world, but I really, really hate this look. And that's putting it lightly.
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Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Armani Prive
This another sad one because I don't think I have ever put an Armani Prive gown on the worst dressed list ever. Like EVER. I love Armani Prive, in fact it is one of my favorite red carpet designers. Naomi Watts is the QUEEN of Prive and she always looks amazing in it on carpets, but this dress is not doing Prive any justice. Oy. Literally that one puffy sleeve reminds me of those big ass hair bows my mom used to stick on one side of my head in the 90s. And WHAT IS HER PURSE?! Her purse literally looks like the Super Bowl trophy. It's like a small, crystal football. And while a small, crystal football may look good with a different dress, her purse looks TOO much like her one puffy sleeve and I JUST CAN'T.
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Zuri Hall in Raisa & Vanessa
Ahhh, Zuri. I said it once and I'll say it again, the E! Gods may smite me but, I really hate this dress. I also hate her hair, but Zuri continuing to wear different wigs is like another rant that I won't even get into right now. Her hair looks like the fringe of the dress, which I think she did on purpose, but the dress literally looks like it engulfed her and then took over her hair in the process. She's SO skinny and this dress makes her look even skinner because it looks so heavy. And what are those random "peek-a-boo" holes everywhere?! EEEK! Personally, I think this whole look is another bad example of an embellished dressed gone bad - it looks like curtains. In Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O'Hara literally had no money, was like legit post Civil War plantation destitute, and she managed to make a STUNNING like spectacular dress out of curtains. Zuri's dress wishes it was like HALF as legit as Scarlett O'Hara's. LOL. Seriously, if I had to pick a hand made curtain dress, I'd still go with Scarlett's.
END SCENE. LOL.
If you're eyes are currently blinded by this year's worst Emmy looks, calm them down by checking out this year's BEST looks HERE.
