Bachelor Nick Is At It AGAIN!!! The Bach Is Back, Which Means So Are We! Here Is The First Bach RECAP Of The Bach Season!
Welp, it's official. On Monday night, the 21st Bachelor season kicked off with NickViall as the leading man - that's right Nick is BACK! But this time - he's handing out the roses. Talk about a GAME CHANGER. The twice jilted 'Bachelorette' contestant, and the once Bachelor In Paradise survivor (literally, it might as well be 'Survivor' with somewhat more attractive people and a whole lot more making out), has decided to go on the journey to find love and hopefully find some lovely, young mental health doctor to fall in love with?
LOL.
(Also, she's ten years younger than him, so there's that...)
Yes, The former Bachelorette who was dumped by Andi Dorfman, and then dumped again by Kaitlyn Bristowe, and actually did the dumping on the last season of BIP (yeah, he broke Jen's heart and she was like a AMAZE), is hoping to find the love of his life on national TV for the fourth time around.
"I have a track record."
So, let's stop beating around le ROSE bush (lol see what I did there), and let's break down some of the BEST moments from last night's "Bachelor" premiere.
And yeah, it' was pretty miz.
BACH MOMENTS
1. Nick mets with the former Bach bros.
So, Nick meets with some of the former Bachelor's which include Ben, who is apparently still with Lauren, Chris, who is still single after a week stint with former fiancee Whitney LOL, and Sean who is OBV happily married and has a beaut baby boy with his wife, Catherine. AW So cute. Love them. So they guys give some helpful advice, I guess, but Chris obv really doesn't have any good advice cause he's like still single...yeah, it's clear the Bach didn't work for him.
2. The red sea.
LOLOLOL. WHY THE FOOK DID SO MANY GIRLS WEAR RED?!!! LIKE WHY? It was like every girl took advice from the red dress dancer emoji! I just don't understand. So, to the few girls that didn't get the red dress memo kudos to you. It's so damn hard to stand out in that sea of red.
3. All the black girls.
THERE'S SO MANY BLACK GIRLS IN THE SEASON!! A ground breaking SIX girls! (But will any of them win? Probs not. Womp, womp).
4. The girl in the awful yellow dress.
UM, she got out of the limo with a matching yellow fan and I thought she was gonna tango or attempt too, but then she threw the fan away and didn't. Ugh. She looked like a trashier, more sequin version of Belle from Beauty and the Beast....I think that's what she was going for, but it didn't work. Belle wouldn't have pulled than fan shit, she's like way more graceful than that.
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5. The girl that told Nick that her friends said he sucked.
UMMM that's NOT the way to win the first impression rose sweetie...
6. The girl who brought Neil Lane with her.
I mean, you gotta test drive the ring right? Sure.
7. The girl who doesn't wear underwear.
COMANDO POWER!
8. Nick trying to figure out whether not he remembers Jade's maid of honor friend he def had sex with at Jade's wedding.
The look on Nick's face while he's trying to figure it out is priceless...
"I'm 99% sure that's her..."
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9. The nurse with the uncooked hot dog.
Yeah, that sounds crazy dirty because the whole thing kinda was oddly dirty...in a really gross way.
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10. The girl who likes "a good hump."
Oh get your mind out of the gutter! Naturally, I'm talking about Lacey M coming in on a cameral. Duh. Who doesn't like a good hump? LOLzz
11. The girl who is naturally obsessed with dolphins.
"She's in a shark costume but she's a dolphin?" LOLOLOLOL.
That's all. (But I love that she was wearing heels with her costume). #Winning
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12. When the Miami Princess decides to aggressively kiss Nick.
UM OKAY. So, not only is Miami Princess seem like the world's biggest brat - I mean she has a NANNY - she also looked like a child making out with an old man when she kissed Nick. Like she looks SOOO young compared to him! She's ten years younger and you can tell. Ew.
13. When the cute black girl/professional cheerleader started crying for NO reason.
BUT WHY YOU CRYING ALREADY?!!! #FirstBlackGirlDown
14. When Nick shuts down Jade's bridesmaid friends.
"I mean my number is really easy to come by, like Jade has my number..." LOL YIKES.
This is the opening shot of a Lifetime movie about stalking. #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/7JdzVRheql— Samantha Highfill (@samhighfill) January 3, 2017
15. WHEN A BLACK GIRL GETS THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE
This is history in da MAKING people!!! Rachel you go girl! There's hope for all the miz Jubliee's out there...maybe.
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SEASON PREDICTIONS
So predictions front runners for the season?
1. The nail salon owner for sure. She has great hair.
2. Rachel, cause I mean she won the first impression.
3, The French speaking special needs teacher because she seems like angel.
4. The somewhat quiet nurse girl. She kinda sounds like a mouse, but Nick seems to be into her.
Annnd someone else who is brunette cause Nick like brunettes. (Andi, Kaitlyn, Jen...all brunettes).
SEASON PREVIEW
From the show-ending preview of the overall season (where everyone pays close attention to who they see the most and who they think is going to win), it looks like Nick DOES in fact fall in love with someone AND the Miami Princess girl, seems to make it pretty clear that she is a HUGE SLORE. Like, she's def the worst.
100% Here for the WRONG reasons. HAHA.
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Ugh, whatever, it's going to be a long MIZ ass season. I'm just excited because I missed Chris...he's single ladies.
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