The Ladies TELL ALL! It's Your FAV Bach Recap ft crazy Olivia, crazy Lace, AND....the chicken lady...
Welp, The Bachelor season as come and gone, and let's be real...you're pretty miz about it. Why? Because it's bye bye Benny and helloo to the next random Bachelotte. GOD FOR BID it's Calia though...no secret that I hate her. LOL.
ANYWAYS. Let's NOT talk about Calia (for now) and discuss all the top moments from the da Bach Tell All! Even though, let's be frank...this episode of the bach tell all was kind of boring. I'm pretty sure the best part was the bloopers...Becca's to be exact.
If you don't recall, or if you didn't make it all the way to the bloopers because you were bored as fook, they showed a great scene where Becca was attempting to talk about Ben and instead of saying Ben's name she said OOPS "Chris." LOL. Then when she caught herself she was like: "That was last season!" LOLOL. HUGE OOPS. But I love it. Priceless. That what happens when you become part of the Bach family incest pool.
Whoops, BEN, I mean I love BEN.
Another great blooper? ALL the bugs. LOL OMG! SOO many bugs = SO many screams! The best was the bee in the car with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube and Kevin yells "Damn racist bugs!" BAHAHAH. Amazing.
Ahhh yeeah, the bloopers were probably the #1 part of the whole show, but we can continue to talk about the rest of the tell all if we must.
So, here are some other "top" moments.
One of the Bach producers with his ladies. I mean, sure.
2. When all the black girls fight.
Yeah, so I LOVE how the TWO bi-racial black girls decided to gain up on Jubliee, the "whole black" girl. So, basically Amber and Jamie (who LITERALLY look exactly alike), were offended that Jubliee called herself whole black and they didn't appreicate that. This somehow made it easy for the rest of the girls to gain up on Jubliee, but I mean come on. That's just dumb. I mean, I'm sure Jubliee said some annoying things to people in the house because like she was little on edge but HELLO she's been in the military for like four years so she's aggressive and a tad crazy, and that's fine. Big deal. Bi-racial girls get over it. Lolz. Jubliee apologized to everyone and said she didn't intend to "stir the pot" but Jubliee - you STIR that pot.
3. When Lace looked sedated.
I mean, this doesn't even really need an explanation because Lace did 100% look sedated. Like when she stares into space...where does she go? WHO IS SHE?! And the that weird guy came on stage with the tatoo of Lace's face on his stomach?! WHAT WAS THAT?! She prob paid him to do that. So, odd. But Lace did reveal that she was going to be on Bachelor in Paradise so that will be entertaining to say the least. I hope she just gets really, really drunk again.
4. When Olivia took the "hot seat" and everyone let her have it.
HA. HA. HA. Ha. Like, she's 100% crazy, I'm sorry. I think my favorite part was when Jennifer (aka the BEST contestant who should have never gone home) told Olivia, "I mean we all like to 'talk smart things too.'" LOL. Then someone else, I think the Russian girl, said that MAYBE if Olivia hadn't been such an introvert and got to know everyone, she wouldn't have had an issue with anyone. THAT and I mean...if you really ARE an introvert and can't get along with people then WHY go on the Bachelor?!
BRAVO JEN!!
Then of course she tried to make us all feel bad and say that she just hasn't got along with girls because she was bullied in high school and it's like COME ON girl. First of all, you clearly have some kinda confidence if you're a a freakin TV anchor. Second of all, if you're gonna be the TV bitch just OWN it and don't give us a fake sob story. The Courtney Robertson's of the Bach world would be so disappointed in you.
I mean, SAME.
Also SAME.
If you hate Olivia, please staaaand UP!
5. When Calia took the "hot seat" and no one cared.
UGH. Calia. I can't with her. Her bubbly, always smiling demeanor is not only NOT real, it's creepy. Like, WHY are you always happy?! There's no way. Plus, girl got a little obsessive over Ben. I mean, her crying scene when she gets dumped LOL is like so aggressive. The whole time she's babbling about how she SO clearly saw her future with him, like she had def already named their kids. I can't believe she was SO blind-sided by it, but the sad thing was...we weren't. Lol. GUILTY as charged.
Ugh, Calia. STOP SMILING!!! MY EYES!!
ALSO I know Calia isn't exactly white, but if the Bachelor's idea of a non white bachelorette is STILL a basically half white girl...then we still have a LONG way to go. #BachelorSoWhite
6. When chicken girl sat with the CHICKEN the WHOLE time.
Need I say more...?
OH, there is ONE thing. The only time the chicken did freak out...in flew over to Lace and attacked her and that was pretty hilarious.
7. When Ben sat down in the "hot seat" and answered everyone's questions SO well and then tells Chris that he is like SOO in love and you were wishing that he was talking about YOU. LOL. Yeah...
At the end of the tell all, Chris Harrison tells Ben that he is really going to miss him, and honestly it looks like he was really serious. Like, I think Chris is suuuper MIZ to let Ben go. But like, aren't we all? Chris followed up his affects by saying: "Ben, you are Mount Rushmore." AKA BACH HALL OF FAME.
AWWW!!! <3 <3
But, honestly he like reaally was one of the BEST Bachelor's of all time. I mean sure sometimes he was a little too soft, like I do need a little more EDGE to my man, but Ben is such a classy, all around guy. How can you say no to that? Ya can't. Plus, you KNOW Ben was the best because the guy reached A MILLION followers on instagram!! Like, guys don't DO that unless your like Harry Styles or Leo D, LOL.
1 mil followers? That's when you know.
Ben...you could totes be a successful fashion blogger now! Or a model...
But on a sadder note, apparently Ben is engaged now and is like SOO happy with his choice that he could "marry her tomorrow."
WOAH Ben. So aggress. But don't worry, just one more week until we get to see the winner (Lauren B.) and then they can finally be in pubic together! Honestly I hope he does marry this girl (Lauren B.) because I would like to see another Bachelor wedding like Sean and Katherine's. Jade and Tanner's didn't count annnd Kaitlyn and Ryan are taking too long...even though word on the street is they are still super happy.
Anyway, be sure to check out the blog next week for the recap of da FINALE! Woot woot!
And if you can tell, we're not huge fans of Lauren B...I mean she's incredibly plan and kinda boring, like we're DEF team Jojo...BUT Ben is 100% gonna choose Lauren, which is fine. Jojo has too much personality for him anyway. She needs a bolder man. Like, love you Ben you're a NUG, but Jojo needs a stronger guy...and so do we. LOL.
(But, I mean I'm so down for the fantasy suite with Ben tho...who isn't?)
ONE LAST THOUGHT...Ben's dad is perfect. Like, can he be the next Bachelor? LOL JK...kinda.
